Obaa Yaa
Ex-boyfriend offers me job
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27 years old, unemployed and got married six months ago. Though my husband has got a job, his meagre salary can barely sustain the family for a week and things are going bad.
A few weeks ago, my ex-boy friend who treated me badly and almost succeeded in pushing me into the grave, told me that he had got a job for me in his father’s factory.
l rejected the offer outright, having considered the humiliation, pain and maltreatment my ex-boyfriend had meted out to me resulting in the abrupt end of the relationship.
However, when l recollected the toil my husband went through to keep the family going, I eventually decided to accept the offer in order to save the family from disgrace.
Should l accept the job or could this cause me a serious problem?
Ama, Kumasi.
Dear Ama,
This offer could cause a problem in your marriage if care is not taken. Your former boy friend could be looking for an avenue to entice you into his arms once again.
Moreover, your detractors could use this opportunity to tell lies to your husband about things they have not seen or heard.
Though your former boy friend could use this opportunity to appease you for the wrongs he had done against you, his brilliant idea could change to envy because of your past relationship.
Kindly turn down this offer to save your marriage and trust in the Lord for another opportunity will knock on your door.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
