Obaa Yaa
Should l accept him back?
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
Our lovely relationship ended when l disclosed to him that l was pregnant. Initially, he denied responsibility of the pregnancy, but his mother who said she would not condone wrongdoing because the two of us were always together said she believed her son was responsible.
I went through painful labour after which l was delivered of my baby.
Since he wasn’t working then, his mother who was a single parent came to my assistance and helped me and my baby until her resources were depleted.
Luckily, he was able to get a job and this good fortune revived my hopes that things would be better and the education of my child and upkeep were assured.
This could not be as my man abandoned us and moved to settle in Accra without any prior information and stayed with a new lady he had befriended.
For close to three years, l was left to cater for my child’s education and everything by taking up menial jobs.
Painfully, he has changed his telephone number which makes it difficult for me to reach him on phone to discuss issues concerning the wellbeing of our child.
A week to Christmas, he came and pleaded with me to forgive him the wrong he had done against me and accept him back.
It was not easy entertaining him because of the way he had treated me, and for the fact that l lost my parents which he never considered to sympathise with me or find out how his child fared.
He has left me thinking about the appropriate step l have to take under the circumstance.
Should l accept him back?
Nancy, Cape Coast.
Dear Nancy,
It is not easy living under such circumstances and from all indications you have endured a lot of pain and hardships over the period.
I can confirm that two of such ‘come backs’ had produced different results. In the first instance, the gentleman returned a changed and very humble person who eventually brought back smiles to the family.
In the second example, the man was only looking for another opportunity and succeeded by taking advantage of the leniency of the lady and ended up doing worse things.
You ought to be careful about this gentleman who could be an opportunist, and has come back to deceive you once again as though he is a changed person who has come to improve your condition.
Be mindful of his decision to reject the pregnancy in the beginning but for the intervention of his mother. This gentleman could be making a return because of your new looks.
MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.
With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.
Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.
Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.
Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.
Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.
Enyonam, Keta.
Dear Enyonam,
BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.
Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.
Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.
She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.
Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.
It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.
Dear Araba,
THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.
When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.
Araba, Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.
Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.
Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?
What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.
Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.
