Obaa Yaa
Should l accept him back?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Our lovely relationship ended when l disclosed to him that l was pregnant. Initially, he denied responsibility of the pregnancy, but his mother who said she would not condone wrongdoing because the two of us were always together said she believed her son was responsible.
I went through painful labour after which l was delivered of my baby.
Since he wasn’t working then, his mother who was a single parent came to my assistance and helped me and my baby until her resources were depleted.
Luckily, he was able to get a job and this good fortune revived my hopes that things would be better and the education of my child and upkeep were assured.
This could not be as my man abandoned us and moved to settle in Accra without any prior information and stayed with a new lady he had befriended.
For close to three years, l was left to cater for my child’s education and everything by taking up menial jobs.
Painfully, he has changed his telephone number which makes it difficult for me to reach him on phone to discuss issues concerning the wellbeing of our child.
A week to Christmas, he came and pleaded with me to forgive him the wrong he had done against me and accept him back.
It was not easy entertaining him because of the way he had treated me, and for the fact that l lost my parents which he never considered to sympathise with me or find out how his child fared.
He has left me thinking about the appropriate step l have to take under the circumstance.
Should l accept him back?
Nancy, Cape Coast.
Dear Nancy,
It is not easy living under such circumstances and from all indications you have endured a lot of pain and hardships over the period.
I can confirm that two of such ‘come backs’ had produced different results. In the first instance, the gentleman returned a changed and very humble person who eventually brought back smiles to the family.
In the second example, the man was only looking for another opportunity and succeeded by taking advantage of the leniency of the lady and ended up doing worse things.
You ought to be careful about this gentleman who could be an opportunist, and has come back to deceive you once again as though he is a changed person who has come to improve your condition.
Be mindful of his decision to reject the pregnancy in the beginning but for the intervention of his mother. This gentleman could be making a return because of your new looks.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
