Features
Dealing with the sinking moral
Watching a video trending on social media recently about some of the negative moral values of our youths, I was amazed and asked myself what the future holds for them in this modern-day Ghana. The video in question was about a young couple, the male being a driver of one of these specialised taxis (Uber) with the wife a housewife. Looking at them critically, I could say that they would be in their late twenties. It was early in the morning and the husband gave some money to the wife to cook while he left the house for work. Soon after the husband had left the house, the woman called another man on his mobile phone (apparently her boyfriend), told him she was paying a short visit since she had missed him a lot. The boyfriend agreed to that request and the girl went over.
WIFE CAUGHT ‘RED-HANDED’
After a good time and also enjoying themselves well, the man decided to hire a taxi through his phone to convey the girlfriend who was in a hurry back home. Lo and behold, it was the husband of the girlfriend who drove to the man’s house to pick the lady. As the taxi parked behind the gate of the man, waiting for the supposed passenger, the two came out from the house and shockingly enough, that was the wife of the taxi driver. The boyfriend did not know the girl’s husband but the girl, upon seeing her husband felt ashamed and started begging him for forgiveness.
This scenario and many obscene videos trending on social media, should vividly tell us how morally corrupt our youths have become in our dear society. They have imported all kinds of dirty and negative practices from the so-called advanced countries and are practising them openly with no regard to the elderly. Is that the civilisation we are clamouring for in our dear country? God save our nation.
IMMORAL YOUTHS
The youths of today, are quite disappointing as most of them have lost their conscience and are engaged in all kinds of promiscuous and adultery practices to the detriment of their future lives. They do not want to be corrected whatsoever when they do the wrong things. The proliferation of churches in this country, some with dubious inclinations has worsened the lifestyles of the youths, many of whom hide behind them to do just the unthinkable and go scot free. The leaders of most of these so-called churches do not have control over the youth. Some of our youths attend churches, listen to various sermons for the sake of them but do the vice with serious implications.
LACK OF PARENTAL CARE
Most parents have little or no control over their children and wards in their tender age and, therefore, they do the amazing things to the astonishment of their parents. Is it not surprising that at the age of 18 years and little above, the youths mostly the young girls, who are in their teens, will be thinking of marriage when in actual sense they are not matured in terms of home management and child upbringing. It is a fact that some parents also contribute to these shortcomings by pushing their immature youth to enter into marriages without considering their ages. Some parents, even with some connivance of pastors and church elders, secretly bless the marriages of their under-age children. The moral decadence among the youth of today is, indeed, not the best thing to talk about in present day Ghana.
It is rightly stated that the future of any nation rests on the shoulders of the youths, as they will eventually become leaders of tomorrow. Therefore, anything targeted at this group of persons must be worthwhile and directed at helping to fulfil their purpose as would be leaders.
ACQUISITION OF GOOD MORAL VALUES
As the youths get prepared for leadership roles, it is pertinent to acquire good moral values and standards that will mold them into personalities ready to lead for the progress of the society since they serve as engine room of society. They serve as the drivers of any development trend activity in society and the major determinant of the extent of growth and development in a given society. It is a fact that the youths of today are usually energetic and are always willing to go the extra mile if the need arises to achieve the goals they have set themselves and what they believe in and to hold on to them.
Our youths continue to hold on to some negative values such as dishonesty, disrespect, intolerance, lack of cooperation, profit-oriented relationships, profane of life and abuse of human dignity, loss of pride in hard work and an increased interest in the pursuit of injustice and other crimes, all in a bid to acquire wealth. Today, most of our youths take pride in telling lies, engage in ungodly practices and embellishment of various criminal acts.
SERVING AS ROLE MODELS
It is a fact that our youths have deviated from the path of righteousness and society must be ready to help in instilling that discipline which is so crucial in their upbringing. The family which is the base structure of every society, must begin to right their wrongs with regard to restructuring their value systems because most of the youths learn from the elders in their families. Government and other authorities, especially those in leadership positions must see themselves as role models for the youths and begin to be responsible adults. They have to realise that the future of tomorrow depends on the foundation laid today and the youths cannot become trusted leaders if they cannot follow in trust.
HELPING THE YOUTHS FROM WAYWARDNESS
The Ministries of Youth and Sports, Children, Gender and Social Protection as well as other youth development and protection organisations, need to collaborate efforts to devise effective mechanisms and tailor-measured programmes designed to educate the youths to shape up their waywardness and prepare them as responsible adults to our society. Parents must also offer the necessary parental care to their adolescent children and not to push them into early marriages which serve no purpose but only to destroy their lives. Marriages among the youths are breaking today because of immaturity and also lack of proper counselling to the youths of today.
We need to help our youths to overcome this moral decadence that have engulfed our dear society. That kind of moral discipline that was introduced by the older generation which seemed to have eluded us now, must be sought and rekindled into our society so that the youths of today, must emulate and conform to it to safeguard their lives.
By Charles Neequaye
THE state of feeling rejected, could be a terrifying experience especially for those who have become used to fame. If not properly addressed, it could lead to depression and the consequences, could be disastrous.
When you are on top of your game in whatever profession you find yourself such that you become famous, a lot of people try to associate with you. The phone never ceases to ring and one is tempted to feel loved and very important.
When a disaster strikes and the fame or the money which was the source of the attraction fades away, the circle of friends and fans begin to shrink and the phone will start to stop ringing until the call stops voting completely.
You will be shocked at how people you considered friends, will no longer be calling you or pay casual visits as they used to. You will begin to notice that messages you leave after calling them and not getting a response are not replied to and that is when you begin to know who your true friends are.
One of the most popular movie stars was an actress called Sharon Stone. In an interview with one of the media houses that was published, she spoke about how people who should have come around to encourage her in her moment of depression, shunned her. The calls stopped coming.
This is what the Bible admonishes that the arm of flesh will fail you and therefore we should put our trust in God. It could be a very frightening experience and can easily lead to depression.
Human nature being what it is, people will want to get close if things are okay. Everybody wants to associate themselves with interesting things, famous people, rich people etc for mainly selfish reasons.
We need to develop the habit of putting our trust in God and relying less on human beings. The lesson we have to take along in life is that, no one marries his or her enemy so how come people who took vows that they will love each other become so hostile to each other that they want to go their separate ways in life? Such is the reality of life.
It is therefore prudent for people to recognise that, life is full of uncertainties and so there is the need to prepare your mind for uncertainties so that when they occur, they do not disorganise your mental sanity.
A lot of people have experienced situations where people who they could have sworn will never betray their trust have disappointed them when they were through challenging moments.
If there is one thing famous people should desire, it should be the ability to identify who are true friends are. Countless stories abound regarding incidence of celebrities who have lost their shine and their wives divorcing them soon after.
It is sometimes useful as a famous or rich person to sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage to safeguard or protect yourself from any future unpleasant surprises.
People can be very pretentious these days, it goes both ways. There is this real life story where a man married a divorced wealthy woman and convinced her to sell her house so they could build a new one together, with the excuse that people are gossiping that he is being housed by a woman.
The woman agreed and they put up a new building. After a few years the man asked for a divorce, only for the woman to realise that the land on which the building was situated, was bought in the man’s name.
This can drive a person insane, if you are not mentally tough and this happens to you. When people hear that you are homeless, a lot of your so-called friends will stop calling, so that you do not become a burden on them.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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‘But, er …. I don’t even know your name’.
‘Paul. Paul Allotey. I’m Sarah, by the way. Paul, why don’t you leave me here, since this is the last important thing I’m doing today’.
‘Okay. Now Sarah. I was just thinking. You will be here at the cafe for about an hour. By then it will be about twelve thirty. Then, you would be thinking of buying yourself some lunch, to eat here or to take home. So if you would please allow me, I will take you to one of the nicest eating places in town, and after you have sorted that one out, then I can drop you home. Just that one errand, then I won’t bother you again’.
‘You are not bothering me at all. You are being very kind to me. And I just realised you are a mind reader too. The last item on my agenda was lunch’.
‘I’m so glad I appeared at your doorstep, just in time’.
‘Okay. Now Paul, since you say the cafe is a comfortable place, let’s go in together, and you can do your work while I get my application done’.
‘Okay, Sarah. Thanks. Let’s go’.
We got back in the car at eleven forty-five.
‘So where are we going, Paul?’
‘To Royalty restaurant. It’s a twenty minute drive away’.
‘So, do you enjoy your job?’
‘Most certainly. I won’t change it, not even to be President. And am I right to say that you are preparing to enter the university?’
‘That’s my plan. I hope it works’.
‘It will, if you are determined, and disciplined. You look very much like a disciplined person’.
‘Thank you very much’.
We arrived at Royalty in twenty-five minutes, ‘You are joining me for lunch, Paul’.
‘Thanks for the honour, Sarah. But the bill is on me’.
‘Aren’t you taking on too much for one day?’
‘I never do anything that is bigger than me, Sarah’.
Over the next hour and a half, we discussed fashion, local and international politics, and sports, as we ate and relaxed. Finally, he drove me to the shop.
‘I will never forget you, Paul’.
‘I’m glad to have been helpful. But if you don’t mind, I’ll say it again, your husband is extremely lucky. You are really beautiful’.
‘Thanks again. But do you mind if I call you sometime in the future?’
‘Certainly not. Let me write it here. I will not ask for your number, for obvious reasons. But I will be looking forward to hearing from you. And hopefully, I will see you next month, when I call to drop your bill’.
‘Okay Paul. See you then’. What a lovely day, I said to myself as I opened the front door. I closed the shop and got home by seven. I went straight to the bedroom, stood in the mirror and took a good look at myself. ‘You are a very beautiful woman, Sarah. Never forget that’. I will not forget that, again.
Over the next several weeks, Martin and I had very little to do with each other. In the morning he ate his breakfast and after a shabby ‘I’m going’, he left. He came home around eight at the earliest, ate his dinner and, already soaked in beer, went off to sleep.
He spent the greater part of the weekends at the club house with his friends, playing tennis and partying. My mind was focused on furthering my education, so I didn’t complain to him, and didn’t bother to inform my parents about what was happening. I had decided that I would only take action if he lifted his hand against me again. I spent my free time reading all manner of interesting stuff on the internet, and chatting with my sister on WhatsApp.
One evening, he came home at about eight, rushed to the bedroom and rushed out. An envelope, obviously containing money, dropped out of his pocket, and I picked it up and followed him. I was going to call him and give it to him, but I noticed that there was a young woman in the car, so I went back in, counted it and put it in a drawer in the hall. He came back after some ten minutes.
‘Excuse me, I dropped an envelope containing money. You must have seen it’.
‘Yes, I saw it. Actually, I followed you, and was about to call you and hand it over to you when I realised that there was a woman in the car, so I came back in. I counted it. One thousand cedis.
‘Well let me have it. I have to be going’.
‘I will let you have it if you will tell me who the woman in the car is, and why you are going to give her that amount of money’.
‘Listen, if you waste my time, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Give me the money now!’
‘Here’s what we will do, Martin. I know you will give money to her anyway, so I will give it to you, if you will withdraw the threat you just issued. But I want you to know that I will be taking some steps from tomorrow. Things are getting out of hand’.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I threatened you. Can you please give me the money’. I handed it over to him, and he ran out’.
The following morning, I waited for him to finish having breakfast, and told him I wanted to have a word with him urgently.
‘You better be quick. You know I’m going to work’.
‘Well, I want to inform you that I will inform my parents, and your parents, about the situation in this house. As I said yesterday, things are getting out of hand. You spend most of your time drinking. You get drunk every evening, and through the weekend. And you are also spending your time and money on a prostitute’.
‘How dare you? One more stupid word from you …’
‘Am I lying, Martin? You have just started life, yet you are behaving like a rich, elderly man who has already seen his children through university, and can afford a life of fun. As I said, I’m going to inform our parents. Maybe your parents can straighten you out before it is too late’.
‘Look, we can talk this evening. It’s nothing like what you are saying’. He walked away, shocked.
That evening, I was expecting to have a meaningful discussion with him, but his mother called early in the evening to offer me some ‘advice’. Her son had called to say that certain developments at home were disturbing him so much that they were beginning to affect his work.
And, ‘as a loving mother to her daughter’, she was advising me to submit to my husband, and support him in prayer, and not ‘drive him from home’. Men would always be men, and she was telling me ‘from experience’ that no matter how much time Martin stayed away from home, he would always come home to me.
She had been a young wife before, so she understood the challenges I was facing. So I could be assured that if I followed her advice, all would be well. And, of course, she didn’t allow me to tell my side of the story.
Martin came home very late, and very drunk. And from the next morning, he carried on as before. With some hesitation, I called my dad and told him all that had gone on.
‘Well, my daughter. I’m not going to say “I told you so”. I was only trying to protect you. So here’s what we’ll do. Continue doing the best you can, and try not to give him any excuse to harm you, but if things continue to deteriorate, I will take you back.
A couple of days later, my cousin Dinah arrived in Accra from Brussels, having completed her medical course. With Martin’s agreement, I went to Koforidua and spent a couple of days. I spent most of the time chatting about her experiences in the US, but we also discussed my relationship with Martin, and she endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if Martin’s behaviour did not change after two weeks Elaine informed Mom and Dad. We endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if there was no change in two weeks.
Dinah returned with me to Takoradi. Her plan was to spend a couple of weeks, and return to Accra to be posted. I called Paul Allotey, and asked if he would meet her for lunch and, if possible, show her some interesting spots. Delighted, he suggested that we meet at Royalty the next day.
I told Martin about it, to remove any possibility of future disagreement over ‘going out with men’.
‘It’s fine with me’, he said, ‘if, of all the people who could show your sister round this town, you chose a borla man. Doesn’t that indicate the kind of person you are?’
‘ First of all, Martin’, I’ve spoken to him a few times, and he comes across as a decent guy, so I think it is rather unfortunate that you are writing him off when you don’t know him’.
By Ekow de Heer
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