Obaa Yaa
Can l marry from this family?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a beautiful lady who has the qualities of a good mother. All this while, we have made feverish preparations towards getting married as soon as our financial conditions improve.
Unfortunately, my father has revealed to me that my marriage to the lady would not be possible because he had had a long relationship with an aunt of my fiancé.
Since this revelation, l have not been able to sleep or eat. It looks as though my world was going to crumble within days and life did not mean anything to me.
I deliberately brought my aunt into the discussion so that she could convince my father to change his view. Despite all persuasions he has failed to change his mind.
What shall l do since my father is adamant, and this lady is very dear to my heart and l cannot do without her?
Frank- Koforidua.
Dear Frank,
Culture is an integral part of our lives, as such we must adhere to the cultural practices of our areas.
Since your father was in relationship with your fiancée’s aunt, it would not be prudent for you to marry the lady of your heart.
This explains why it is necessary for family elders to do thorough background checks of prospective members who intend to marry. Such elders look for possible problems to ensure that a good decision is taken.
Try to find out if it would be possible to offer sacrifices to appease the gods, or reverse whatever infringements that might have been committed.
Until such options are complied with, you cannot marry this lady of your heart.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
*****************************************************************************************
Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
***************************************************************************************
Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
