Obaa Yaa

Can l marry from this family?

Published

5 years ago

November 21, 2020

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I fell in love with a beautiful lady who has the qualities of a good mother. All this while, we have made feverish preparations towards getting married as soon as our financial conditions improve.

Unfortunately, my father has revealed to me that my marriage to the lady would not be possible because he had had a long relationship with an aunt of my fiancé.

Since this revelation, l have not been able to sleep or eat. It looks as though my world was going to crumble within days and life did not mean anything to me.

I deliberately brought my aunt into the discussion so that she could convince my father to change his view. Despite all persuasions he has failed to change his mind.

What shall l do since my father is adamant, and this lady is very dear to my heart and l cannot do without her?

Frank- Koforidua.

Dear Frank,

Culture is an integral part of our lives, as such we must adhere to the cultural practices of our areas.

Since your father was in relationship with your fiancée’s aunt, it would not be prudent for you to marry the lady of your heart.

This explains why it is necessary for family elders to do thorough background checks of prospective members who intend to marry. Such elders look for possible problems to ensure that a good decision is taken.

Try to find out if it would be possible to offer sacrifices to appease the gods, or reverse whatever infringements that might have been committed.

Until such options are complied with, you cannot marry this lady of your heart.

Obaa Yaa

I am Torn Between Two Guys

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.

I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.

Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.

—Esinam, Legon

Dear Esinam,

When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.

Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?

You might also reflect on:

Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?

Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.

Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.

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Obaa Yaa

My grades are dropping

Published

6 days ago

October 11, 2025

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.

It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.

The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.

This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.

This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.

Chelsea, Accra.

Dear Chelsea,

Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.

Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.

Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.

Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.

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