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Be perfect in kindness
It’s been said that the little things are the big things. This applies to many aspects of life, but especially to the small courtesies, the little acts of kindness that end up making a big difference. Truly, from the small and simple comes that which is great. It happens when a seedling is nurtured and grows into a strong tree, and it happens when little kindnesses help people blossom and grow. It’s one of the most important ways we make a difference in the world. 
And certainly, there are things about the world that we wish were different. We see conflict and discord at home and abroad, and we wonder how things will ever improve. In this respect, our day isn’t unique; those who went before us faced times that were challenging and difficult too. But that doesn’t mean the situation is hopeless. There is something we can do to feel a little better about the world and about life. And it doesn’t have to be something grand or dramatic. Sometimes even the most complicated problems have surprisingly simple solutions.
When the world seems to spin out of control, we can do our part to “try to stem the madness,” as one columnist wrote recently. “It begins with simply caring,” she said, “by looking up from our cellphones and making eye contact; by asking the security guard about his day; thanking the garbage collector; doing favours without a scorecard; giving away money because someone needs it more. Sometimes a small gesture of kindness can change someone’s day or life. If the cumulative effect of evil acts brings us down, mightn’t the cumulative effect of good deeds lift us up?”
We’ve all experienced the wonderful way both givers and receivers are blessed when people help each other. So often, the receiver of help is prompted to become the giver of help to others. The chain of kindness continues to link people and spread warmth, even on cold and snowy days.
How grateful we are for those who don’t stop at their own front door or sidewalk, but extend to others. Such good-hearted people make the world a better place by doing something unexpected for others. It doesn’t take much: a little thoughtfulness, a little time, a little heart. One person visits those who he knows may be lonely. Another sends thank-you notes to people who have touched her life. Another always plans for a few extra servings whenever preparing a meal, so there’s something to share. And still another takes time to really listen. All do their part to start or continue a chain of kindness. In the process, they find connection and friendship. Helping others often leads to meaningful relationships that bring joy and satisfaction throughout life.
The seasons come and go, but opportunities to serve are always with us. In the timeless words of Martin Luther King Jr., “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for others?” Helping others is always in season.
Most often, those who do kind deeds never see their names in the newspaper; they rarely make headlines. But that’s OK. Their benevolence is not motivated by the thought of what they’ll get in return. They have big hearts, and they’ve discovered the thrill of doing something good.
Each of us can probably think of people who’ve helped us along the way. Often they’re close to home. A seven-year-old boy will not soon forget the kindness of his next-door neighbour. Just days before Christmas, the boy lost his dog. He did everything he could to find him. He looked around the neighbourhood, made a sign all by himself, and posted it on the mailbox. He asked neighbours if they’d seen him. Everyone was compassionate; they said they’d keep their eyes out for the boy’s dog. But one neighbour did a little more. He woke up early the next morning and searched for the dog. And again in the evening, the neighbour canvassed the area. On Christmas morning, the boy’s dog was home again, thanks to that kind neighbour. Can you imagine the boy’s delight when he woke up and discovered that dreams really do come true and prayers are indeed answered? The sparkle in his eye was the reward of kindness. And, as is often the case, the one who did the good deed was not even there to see it.
Hope swells every time we respond with kindness. Like breath, it moves through us all and reminds us that simple actions can make the world a better place. Human kindness gives meaning to otherwise ordinary days. We need each other; we depend on each other’s willing compassion and good cheer. By opening our hearts with simple acts of kindness, we feel connected to each other and to the God who gave us life.
It’s simple, really. A sure way to begin feeling a little better about the world and your life, a good way to truly make a difference in a troubled world, is to look around and do something good. The good we do matters, for the best way to drive away darkness is to turn on a light, even if it’s small. So do some good today and tomorrow. Before you know it, the world will become a better place.
Email: samueleghan@gmail.com
By Samuel Enos Eghan
In the pursuit of nurturing healthy, fulfilling relationships, we often focus on understanding our partners, communicating effectively, and navigating conflicts. However, a crucial element is frequently overlooked: self-awareness.
Understanding ourselves is the foundation upon which successful relationships are built. Imagine being in a relationship where every conversation feels like a minefield, and every disagreement leaves you wondering if you are truly understood.
Now, picture a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and valued—not because your partner has magically figured you out, but because you have taken the time to understand yourself. This is the transformative power of self-awareness in relationships.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is the capacity to reflect on ourselves, acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and taking responsibility for our actions. With self-awareness, we are better equipped to manage our emotions, respond to situations more thoughtfully, and make informed decisions that align with our values.
How Self-Awareness Impacts Relationships
- Improved Communication:
When we are aware of our own emotions and needs, we can communicate them more effectively to our partner, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. By recognising our tendency to become defensive in certain situations, we can take a step back, breathe, and respond more constructively. - Increased Empathy:
Self-awareness allows us to recognise and manage our own biases, enabling us to be more empathetic and understanding towards our partner’s perspective. By acknowledging our own emotional triggers, we can respond to our partner’s needs with more compassion. - Healthier Boundaries:
By understanding our own needs and limits, we can establish and maintain healthy boundaries, preventing codependency and resentment. Self-awareness helps us communicate our boundaries clearly and respectfully, fostering mutual respect in relationships. - Personal Growth:
Self-awareness fosters personal growth, enabling us to work on our flaws and become a better partner, friend, and individual. As we develop self-awareness, we become more resilient, adaptable, and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and purpose.
Cultivating Self-Awareness
- Mindfulness and Reflection:
Regular mindfulness practices and self-reflection can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself. Schedule time for reflection, whether through journaling, meditating, or simply taking a quiet walk in nature. - Journaling:
Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can provide valuable insights into your motivations and behaviors. Reflect on your journal entries to identify patterns, gain clarity, and develop a greater understanding of yourself. - Seek Feedback:
Ask trusted friends, family, or a therapist at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) for feedback on your strengths and areas for improvement. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness. - Embrace Imperfection:
Recognise that nobody is perfect, and it is okay to make mistakes. This mindset allows you to approach self-awareness with kindness and compassion, fostering a more positive and growth-oriented relationship with yourself.
As we cultivate self-awareness, we embark on a journey of growth, discovery, and transformation. By understanding ourselves, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships, and live a more authentic, meaningful life. Self-awareness is not a destination; it is a continuous process of learning, growing, and evolving—and one that requires patience, kindness, and compassion towards ourselves and others.
In conclusion, self-awareness is the cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling relationships. By understanding ourselves, we can communicate more effectively, empathise with our partner, and cultivate personal growth. As we strive to build stronger relationships, let us prioritise self-awareness, embracing our true selves, and loving ourselves for who we are. By doing so, we will become better partners, friends, and individuals—capable of building more profound, lasting connections with others, and living a life that truly reflects our values and aspirations.
To be continued …
By Counselor Prince Offei
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ONE profession which society has battled with is prostitution. Prostitutes can’t be stopped in their tracks. Soldiers have tried, policemen have doubled and redoubled to keep them off the streets. But the prostitute is like the cockroach. Sack it from the kitchen and it moves to the toilet where it can enjoy self-contained facilities. Drive it away from there and it scurries to the bedroom to become the landlord.
Prostitutes can live on land and sea. They are mysterious and defy gravity, a feat—even birds of the air have not successfully accomplished. They can change form and appear as bar girls; they dress like students; act like scholars and speak Oxford English. They are also like the chameleon but once their clients can identify them, no problem. The Sikaman prostitute normally enters the business as an amateur, having been introduced by a professional or a caricature of a pimp. But she learns quickly.
In a short time, she is able to take any size without wailing, unless of course the size is “international”.
Prostitutes are of every tribe, height, weight, colour and notoriety. These days, some are well-schooled with diplomas and degrees. They enter into the world’s oldest profession due to factors ranging from poverty to nymphomania.
Most prostitutes in Sikaman are often not sophisticated in outlook and modus operandi. Often, they easily betray themselves with their gaudy appearance, over-painted faces, skimpy skirts, cigarette in hand, walking with that kind of bottom-wriggling gait that can instantly turn a devoted clergyman into a he-goat.
In developed countries like Spain, prostitution takes different forms. Apart from those you can grab from the cheap bars and ghettos for single night stands and those managed by shameless pimps, there are some who are organised by well-established syndicates and specialised agencies.
If you need a girl for the night, you only have to telephone an agency, describing the kind and breed you want—race, height, size, colour (chocolate?), rudeness, smoking type, strip-teasing, shyness, whatever.
You give your address and the girl on time. You pay by the hour and cost per hour can make you feel dizzy without falling down. You’ll still be steady for the showdown.
The girls have been trained to use tricks and communication skills to make their clients spend several hours without really doing anything. A typical prostitute will make you drink, chat at length (they are very knowledgeable), cook for you, bathe you and breast-feed you. That takes some three hours and you have to pay if you still want her services.
If you grow a bit wiser and protest, and insist vehemently that you are tired of being babied and want some real action now, she’ll do another hour of strip-tease and belly-dance by which time you’re either bored or charged to bursting point.
And finally you will do it but never without a condom. And the kind of condom she’ll give you can’t be torn by any knife around the globe, not even okapi. Before you’re finally through, you’ve got some five-hour helluva bill to pay. Next time round, you’ll think twice and go in for the cheap-side who’ll even allow you to do it without condoms if you are tired of living and want to die of AIDS.
In Sikaman, apart from those who operate from hotels and bars, some operate in private homes. The clients come and line-up, each with a hard-on. When the queue is not moving fast some begin to sweat because they have a very low sexual boiling point. If they are not ushered in quickly they can cause problems.
They’ll start grunting and stamping and can disrupt the peaceful and orderly procedure. As it were, such clients need priority attention so that they do not cause a riot and disturb the public peace.
Incidentally, prostitutes don’t like dealing with such clients because they are bad business. They have no biblical patience at all. They rush too much, and that was why a prostitute once asked a client whether he was a Russian because he rushed a bit too much and messed up things.
Prostitution in Sikaman has taken a new turn. Girls as little as sixteen are selling their bodies sometimes with the passive connivance of their mothers. When the girls go out at 9.00 p.m. and return at 3.00 a.m, their mothers let them in without asking questions. Next day, the house is properly fed from the proceeds of the night adventure and everybody is happy and nobody talks. If you talk, no breakfast for you tomorrow morning.
The police are doing quite a job trying to get them off the streets but they go and return just like the cockroach. Many of them are surely agents for the transmission of the AIDS virus because they permit clients to forgo the condom. They only have to pay extra for the “raw” service.
Now, the idea of legalising prostitution has been a very controversial one. If prostitutes can hardly be gotten off the streets since they are defiant and are now very many, why not legalise the profession, issue licences (not to kids), offer them health services and health education, teach them how to protect themselves and others from sexually transmitted diseases and then compel them to pay tax?
That would force children out of the trade because the legal operators will themselves force out the kids who will be competing with them. They would even assist the police to kick out the 15 and 16 year olds.
If a bad phenomenon cannot be wiped out, a way must be found to make it less and less harmless, so that while it doesn’t benefit society in any grand way, it does not also harm it.
Any suggestions?
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