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Obaa Yaa

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The Woman Seduced Me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 20-year-old student who lost both parents at the age of 16.

I stayed with my late mother’s friend, a woman about 40 years old who lives in the same area.

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After the death of my parents, she told me to come and stay with her. She promised to take good care of me because of the good relationship she had with my mother.

I moved from my former house to the woman’s place. In fact, she was kind to me and gave me all that I needed.

About three months later, the woman forced me to have sex with her. Since then, she has been making advances toward me and I am uncomfortable.

Obaa Yaa, how can an innocent boy like me escape from this trap?

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Ramsey, Kasoa New Market.


Dear Ramsey,

YOU are indeed in trouble. If a woman who has assumed the position of a mother in your life has seduced you, then it is virtually equivalent to incest.

I suggest you begin to think about leaving the place.

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Where are your relatives? Can’t any of them offer you a place, especially since both parents are late?

That should have been your first step instead of moving in with a friend.

Meanwhile, be on your guard and avoid being caught in any compromising situation with her now that you know what she is capable of.

Ask God for protection as you search for a new home. Commit your entire situation to prayer.

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Obaa Yaa

My wife is living with another man

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.

However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.

This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.

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Philip,

Accra.

Dear Philip,

You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.

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Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.

Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.

If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.

If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.

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Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.

But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.

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Obaa Yaa

I cannot wait for him

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.

Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.

His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.

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He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.

My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.

Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.

Ekua,

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Obom.

Dear Ekua,

Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.

What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.

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 I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.

 It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.

Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.

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