Obaa Yaa
They planned to take my girl
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM 18 years old and she is also 18 years.
We have been lovers for the past two years.
I have a friend who knew about our relationship. This best friend of mine came home from school with his friend with the intention of giving him a girlfriend from his hometown.
This best friend of mine introduced my girlfriend to him and when I returned from school I was told about this sad issue.
I asked the girl and she replied negatively for several times. I was then advised by my friend to stop asking her about it.
For the second time my friend came with the same boy, but this time, I was there and in fact I really saw what happened and it was too horrifying.
Obaa Yaa, I made my mind to fight both boys but I later changed my mind.
She is very supportive and assists me with some of my needs in school.
What should I do, Obaa Yaa? She has still been visiting me but I’m worried.
O. D. Kennedy, Koforidua-E/R
Dear Kennedy,
I DOUBT if the person you claim to be your best friend is indeed a friend at all.
Why didn’t you confront him about this?
In any case, you don’t have to worry about her being snatched because it appears she loves you.
The only problem is that you are being over-anxious about the situation and feeling jealous.
For the time being, if you claim the boy trying to give out your girl is your best friend, then confront him and ask him to stop being treacherous — but don’t fight him.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am currently pregnant, but the father of my child is a Christian while my religion is Islam. We are not married, and this situation makes me worried about what will happen next.
I am unsure about what to do regarding my religious background and my family. I want to know what steps I should take vis-à-vis my pregnancy, my relationship with the father of the baby, and how to handle our different religions since we are not married.
Zulia, Ashaiman.
Dear Zulia,
This is a very real and difficult situation, and your concerns are completely understandable. You are currently dealing with your relationship, religion, and family expectations.
Take your health seriously by attending antenatal appointments regularly because no matter what happens with the relationship, your pregnancy deserves care and stability. You can also seek emotional support from someone you trust.
Take time to reflect, seek guidance from a trusted religious leader or counsellor, and involve supportive family. This could guide you based on your specific circumstances.
Have an honest conversation with the father about responsibilities and intentions. You are not alone, and this situation does not define your future.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband got another woman pregnant when we haven’t even thought of having a child. He came to confess to me and asked me to forgive him, I forgave him. It was very hard. Our marriage was less than a year old. We had planned to enjoy our marriage for two years before thinking about making babies.
I forgave him because I didn’t want the embarrassment that comes with it. I was even the one who advised him not to tell anyone about it. It was our little secret, and I encouraged him to take care of the child and the mother.
Two years later, I was pregnant when I discovered another woman was pregnant for my husband. I nearly miscarried as my heart started beating out of rhythm. When I asked him, he confessed. He broke down and cried with me while begging me not to make it an issue.
He said the devil was involved, so I should pray for him. He swore it would never happen again. I was scared for my health and the health of the baby I was carrying, so I decided to forgive and save myself the trouble. That was the hardest decision I’d ever taken in my life, but then again, he was my husband, so I had to forgive him.
My baby was only four months old when I discovered my husband had again impregnated the first woman he got pregnant. It was the woman who called to tell me their second child was on the way. I don’t know why she did that, but I felt so disrespected and broken. Before my husband came home, I had packed out of the house.
I’m in court seeking divorce. My husband is still begging me to change my mind, but I’ve seen the height and depth of shame, and I don’t think I was born to experience this kind of humiliation. Obaa Yaa, did I do the right thing?
Kafui, Kpando.
Dear Kafui,
I am still processing everything you’ve been through. Your husband’s actions are not your fault, and you’ve shown incredible strength and forgiveness. However, it’s clear he’s not respecting your boundaries or marriage.
Leaving the house might be a sign that you are done, and that’s okay. You have tried to forgive and save the marriage, but he keeps hurting you. Your well-being and mental health should be your priority, especially given your past pregnancy complications.
You deserve respect and loyalty in your marriage. Reach out to a trusted family member or a counsellor for support. I believe it is time to consider what’s best for you.
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