Obaa Yaa
My husband is not affectionate
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 25-year-old woman and have been married for two years. Since I gave birth to our second child, I have noticed a painful change in my husband. He no longer shows me affection the way he used to. Instead, he’s been openly flirting with a younger girl in our area, and it is breaking my heart.
Some of my friends say it is because I have gained weight after having two children. They even suggest I stop breastfeeding my three-month-old baby, claiming it will make my breasts sag and make me look less attractive.
I am devastated. I love my children and want to care for them fully, but I also want to save my marriage. Is it true that my body changes are the reason he is drifting away? Or is there something deeper going on? I am confused, hurt, and unsure of what to do next.
— Chelsea, Dansoman
Dear Chelsea,
Breasts are for nurturing, not for judgment. Your body has done something beautiful by giving life; that is not a flaw. The advice to stop breastfeeding to “look better” is harmful and unnecessary. Your child’s health and wellbeing come first.
Your husband’s behaviour reflects his own choices, not your worth. If he is drifting, the answer is not for you to shrink yourself or sacrifice your wellbeing. You are still worthy of love, respect, and care just as you are.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
