Connect with us

Relationship

Is your marriage counsellor or couples therapist right for you?

Published

on

• Ensure to have a say in whoever counsels you

Ensure to have a say in whoever counsels you

     As a single or couple preparing to get married, take personal interest in who counsels you as your marriage therapist or counsellor. Because who you choose to marry is one of the most important decisions you would ever make in your life.

    Pre-marital counselling ought not to be some formality you need to satisfy in order to get married. If you are interested in how your life and future turns out, then do not take for granted the person who prepares you for your marriage journey.

    Always remember that your mar­riage can make or break you. There­fore, make sure you have a say in who counsels you, especially if you realise that the marriage counsellor is not qualified and has very little pre-mari­tal counselling experience.

    For most of you, because you are in the Church environment, you are not given the chance to choose who prepares you for your marriage. I understand that perfectly. However, if you realise the counsellor you have been assigned will not be helpful in giving you that solid foundation for your marriage journey, then I would encourage you to ask your Senior Pas­tor or the Head of Counselling Unit to give you another counsellor you would be more comfortable with.

    Advertisement

    Make this request in a respectful manner. In many cases, if there are other marriage counsellors available, I know the Church would be more than willing to grant your request by giving you another counsellor.

    Nevertheless, in an extreme situa­tion where you don’t get any replace­ment because it is only one counsellor you are all stuck to, I would encour­age you to seek professional pre-mar­ital counselling outside while you still go through the pre-marital counsel­ling package of your Church.

    Do not ever rebel against your Church! Instead, get additional pro­fessional counselling from a coun­selling facility like ours (Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, which is a mental health and coun­selling consult accredited by Ghana Psychology Council).

    Indeed, such professional services would attract some fees; however, if experiencing a happy, fulfilling and lasting marriage is your main goal, then no cost would be too much for you to get professional support.

    Advertisement

    Qualities to look out for in Your Marriage Counsellor

    As you embark on the journey of marriage, remember that seeking help from a professional marriage therapist or counsellor can be a valu­able asset to your relationship.

    I admit there are so many charac­teristics you would have to consider when choosing your marriage thera­pist or counsellor. Nevertheless, the following are the core qualities that your marriage counsellor or therapist must possess:

    1. Respect for your Christian faith and values

    Advertisement

    If you are a Christian searching for a qualified Christian marriage coun­sellor, look for a marriage counsellor who aligns with your Christian beliefs and values. It would be helpful if the counsellor is a strong Christian himself or herself. They should have a solid understanding of biblical princi­ples and must have the required skills to effectively integrate such princi­ples into their counselling approach.

    As a Christian couple, it will be a plus if your marriage counsellor is doctrinally solid, secure in his own marriage and family relationships (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:7), and living in obedience to God’s Word within his or her marriage.

    2. Expertise in marriage counsel­ling

    Look for a counsellor with specif­ic training and experience in couple counselling or therapy. The counsellor should have a master’s or undergrad­uate degree in marriage or couple counselling, or at least some form of professionally accredited certificate in marriage or couplesss counselling.

    Advertisement

    A professional certificate such as, Counsellor Prince & Associates Con­sult’s ‘Certificate in Counselling and Marriage Therapy’, which is accred­ited by Ghana Psychology Council (GPC). In extreme cases where the person does not have any of these training, you could look out for at least general counselling or psycholo­gy training, in addition to some years of experience in handling couples.

    Within the context of Christian training, I know many recognised and accredited Christian Seminaries and Pastoral Schools integrate some basic marriage counselling courses to equip the pastors. However, it is not all pastors who have the required exper­tise to provide effective pre-marital counselling.

    Ultimately, find a counsellor who has specific relevant experience in working with couples and mar­riage-related issues. They must have some years of practice and a track record of helping couples overcome challenges and improve their relation­ships.

    To be continued …

    Advertisement

    Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).

    COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC)

    Advertisement
    Continue Reading
    Advertisement

    Relationship

    …Tips on healthy eating for children during holidays

    Published

    on

     During the holidays, it is important for children to enjoy it and indulge in holiday treats while maintaining healthy eating habits and making balanced choices.

    Setting children up for healthy eating during the holidays is an excellent way to begin building their holiday eating habits as they grow into adults.

    Here are some tips to help parents and guardians ensure healthy eating habits for children during the holidays.

    1. Be a role model.

    Parents and caregivers play an essential role in influencing children’s eating habits. Offer children the same balanced meal you cook for yourself and other adults. Avoid making negative comments about food or the meal and keep mealtimes.

    Keep to a consistent schedule.

    A routine schedule can help minimise grazing and boredom eating. Try to offer three balanced meals and set snack times. Do not offer an alternative to the meal you plan to make for the family. But if your child does not like what is provided, don’t force them to eat if they are uninterested. Let them know that if they are hungry later, they can eat what was offered.

    Advertisement

    Involve your children in meal prep.

    Focus on balanced meals that include vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbohydrates.

    Make healthy swaps.

    Consider making healthy swaps, such as using whole wheat flour, offering whole fruits, reducing the sugar in baked goods, and limiting added sugars, especially from sugar-sweetened beverages like hot chocolate and eggnog. Consider making your beverages at home to reduce and control the amount of added sugar.

    Encourage active play.

    Make the holidays a time to engage in family activities. Take family hikes, spend a day at the beach or the bay, or enjoy a stroll in the neighborhood or a local park. These activities can help improve appetite and relieve boredom.

    Advertisement
    Continue Reading

    Relationship

    Till death do us part? The changing face of marriage, divorce in Ghana

    Published

    on

    Marriage has long been celebrated as a lifelong union built on love, commitment and mutual support. Across Ghana, wedding ceremonies continue to bring families together with the hope that couples will remain together “till death do us part.” Yet, behind the colourful ceremonies and joyful celebrations, an increasing number of marriages are ending in separation and divorce, reflecting the changing realities of modern family life.

    According to the 2021 Population and Housing Census, about 42.9 per cent of Ghanaians aged 12 years and above are married, while 4.8 per cent are divorced and 3.5 per cent are separated, indicating that marital dissolution affects thousands of families across the country.

    These figures suggest that although marriage remains a cherished institution, divorce has become a growing social reality.

    For Ama, a 38-year-old businesswoman in Accra, divorce was never part of her plans. “We loved each other deeply when we got married,” she recalled. “But after years of constant arguments, financial pressure and poor communication, we realised we were hurting each other more than helping each other.” After ten years of marriage and two children, Ama and her husband decided to divorce. Her experience mirrors that of many Ghanaian couples who begin their marriages with hope but later struggle to overcome life’s pressures.

    Advertisement

    Marriage counsellor, Mr Patrick J. Tengey explained that poor communication remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. “When couples stop talking and listening to each other, unresolved disagreements gradually become resentment,” he said. He added that financial difficulties, unemployment, infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse and unrealistic expectations continue to place enormous strain on marriages.

    His observations are supported by research conducted by psychologists Joseph Osafo, Kwaku Oppong Asante, Charlotte Asantewaa Ampomah and Annabella Osei-Tutu of the University of Ghana. Their study, which analysed divorce cases from courts in the Greater Accra Region, identified infidelity, financial problems, abuse, lack of intimacy, third-party interference and conflicts over gender roles as the major factors contributing to divorce in Ghana.

    Marriage counsellor, Grace Mensah, believes many broken marriages could have been saved if couples sought professional help earlier. “Communication, trust and conflict resolution are skills that must be learned,” she said. “Unfortunately, many couples only seek counselling after the relationship has already reached a crisis.” The emotional and financial consequences of divorce often extend beyond the couple themselves.

    Mrs Ofosu, a resident at Bohye, explained that children frequently experience anxiety, emotional distress and academic difficulties following their parents’ separation. “Children deserve stability,” she said.

    Advertisement

    “Even when divorce becomes necessary, parents must continue working together for their children’s welfare.”

    Family lawyer, Evans Nii, noted that many divorce cases involve disputes over child custody, maintenance and property distribution.

    He explained that under Ghana’s Matrimonial Causes Act, 1971 (Act 367), the court may grant a divorce only when it is satisfied that the marriage has broken down beyond reconciliation.

    The law also considers issues such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion and prolonged separation when determining whether a marriage has irretrievably broken down.

    Advertisement

    He further explained that Article 22 of the 1992 Constitution protects the property rights of spouses during and after marriage, while the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560) requires that the best interests of the child remain the court’s primary consideration in custody decisions.

    Religious leaders continue to encourage forgiveness, patience and reconciliation where possible. However, many acknowledge that marriages characterised by persistent domestic violence or abuse require immediate intervention to protect victims.

     Experts believe strengthening marriages requires both personal commitment and institutional support.

    Premarital counselling, relationship education, financial planning and accessible counselling services, they say, can help couples navigate the challenges of married life before problems become overwhelming.

    Advertisement

    French-American journalist, Mignon McLaughlin, once observed that, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche similarly argued that “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Their words continue to resonate with many relationship experts who believe lasting marriages depend on continuous effort rather than romantic feelings alone.

    As Ghanaian society evolves, so too do expectations surrounding marriage. While divorce may sometimes provide safety and a fresh beginning for those trapped in abusive or unhealthy relationships, many experts believe stronger communication, mutual respect and timely counselling can help preserve marriages that might otherwise end in separation.

    Ultimately, the promise of “till death do us part” remains a cherished ideal. Whether that promise becomes reality may depend not only on love, but also on patience, understanding, shared responsibility and the willingness of couples to grow together through life’s changing seasons.

    By Sandra Obeng

    Advertisement

    Continue Reading
    Advertisement

    Trending