Obaa Yaa
In love with mother of three
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I Am a student in a tertiary institution and in love with a woman who has three children. This woman and my parents were co-tenants and her husband used to send me on errands which I gladly carried out.
Her husband, a God-fearing man who was generous, never stopped showering gifts on me, and this made me develop a special love for him. One day, as I went to their house to deliver a parcel the man had asked me to collect for him, I met only the wife who told me her husband had travelled to attend an emergency meeting.
She accused me of neglecting her over the period not concerned about her welfare. According to her, running errands for her husband alone was not enough and that I should have occasionally asked if there was something I should do for her.
The woman led me to one of the rooms in the house where they had gathered washed clothes which were not arranged. Having shown me the room, she asked me if I could spare a little of my time to assist her in arranging the clothes.
This lady used the opportunity while we were in the room to find out if I had a girlfriend. When I said no, she asked what I was waiting for and why I should deprive pretty girls of my age from being loved and shown affection.
She, therefore, moved to where I was and began to fondle me and warned me not to voice out to anyone. She deliberately fondled me for a while and what followed could not be described.
Having introduced me to an amorous life and with the promise that all would be well, I find it difficult to stop moving with this woman.
What should I do?
Kwame- Koforidua.
Dear Kwame,
You should not depend on the leniency of this gentleman to spoil his marriage. Nobody in the right frame of mind will be happy with what you are doing. This man could easily kill you if he discovers that you are sleeping with his wife. A word to a wise is enough.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
