Obaa Yaa
My second child is not my husband’s
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been keeping this secret close to seven years and it keeps haunting me. Though l am a wedded wife with three children, our second child is not my husband’s but my former boyfriend.
l had secret love affairs with my former boyfriend and became pregnant in the process. Despite the efforts made to abort the pregnancy, l was not successful and, therefore, decided to keep it a secret between me and my boyfriend.
This matter continues to haunt me and l have reached a stage l cannot conceal it any longer. However, knowing the type of person my husband is l can imagine his angry response to this revelation.
The boy resembles my ex-boyfriend and this revelation will not raise any doubt in my husband’s mind.
Obaa Yaa, l am itching to get your response since l am seriously disturbed.
Ama, Accra.
Dear Ama,
This is a sensitive issue which must be tackled with care since it has the potential to break up the marriage and tarnish your reputation forever.
Your husband should not hear about this because even if he is an angel, he will become enraged and hell will break loose.
You have the duty to confess to your priest or pastor who will lead you through series of prayers and fasting.
God sees through all hearts and knows how remorseful one is. The description of your situation shows that you are truly repentant of your sins and with this in mind, God is prepared to forgive and bless you.
This is on condition that you will no longer have anything to do with this former boyfriend of yours. This man carries more blame because he has the audacity to have series of intercourse with somebody’s wife.
Though his biological father, your son will be angry if he gets to know that his real father slept with a wedded wife and you also consented to the act which has resulted in his birth.
Our grandparents endured such instances in the past and were guided by wisdom to keep them as secrets to promote peace in the family.
Having gone through this spiritual exercise, your heart will find absolute peace and forgiveness from God.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
