Obaa Yaa
She is in love with another man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am a 29-year-old farmer and my lady is 25. We are in the third year of our relationship and we love each other dearly.
If l do not see her for hours in a day, l would take the pains to look for her. She cooks for me every day at her own expense, and buys many things for me, including some nice shirts.
She often accompanies me to places, provided she has time to spend.
My lady is a trader and l have given her a substantial capital to trade with.
The problem is that when l talk to her about marriage, she does not give me a favourable response. This gives me the impression that she is no longer interested to marry me.
My checks showed that another man had proposed to marry her and she did not deny it when l enquired from her.
I advised her to break up the relationship with the gentleman but there is evidence that she is still in close contact with him.
I am troubled as l do not want to lose this girl. What should l do?
John, Akuse
Dear John,
Love for the opposite sex should flow naturally, therefore, it is not advisable to force someone to marry you.
You must be commended for taking pains in supporting this lady to be financially independent.
The fact that she did not deny her relationship with the gentleman is an indication that she is taking time to make comparison between the two of you before making her final decision.
You have to check whether your behaviour is what this lady frowns upon or there is something about you that she detests.
If she has finally decided to opt for the gentleman, then quickly re-organise your life, take some time to get another lover who will love you to guarantee a blessed and peaceful marriage life in the future.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
