Obaa Yaa
She is in love with another man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am a 29-year-old farmer and my lady is 25. We are in the third year of our relationship and we love each other dearly.
If l do not see her for hours in a day, l would take the pains to look for her. She cooks for me every day at her own expense, and buys many things for me, including some nice shirts.
She often accompanies me to places, provided she has time to spend.
My lady is a trader and l have given her a substantial capital to trade with.
The problem is that when l talk to her about marriage, she does not give me a favourable response. This gives me the impression that she is no longer interested to marry me.
My checks showed that another man had proposed to marry her and she did not deny it when l enquired from her.
I advised her to break up the relationship with the gentleman but there is evidence that she is still in close contact with him.
I am troubled as l do not want to lose this girl. What should l do?
John, Akuse
Dear John,
Love for the opposite sex should flow naturally, therefore, it is not advisable to force someone to marry you.
You must be commended for taking pains in supporting this lady to be financially independent.
The fact that she did not deny her relationship with the gentleman is an indication that she is taking time to make comparison between the two of you before making her final decision.
You have to check whether your behaviour is what this lady frowns upon or there is something about you that she detests.
If she has finally decided to opt for the gentleman, then quickly re-organise your life, take some time to get another lover who will love you to guarantee a blessed and peaceful marriage life in the future.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
