Obaa Yaa

Will you encourage marriage within same family?

Published

4 years ago

October 9, 2021

I was betrothed to an influential man in my family who performed my marriage rites when l was a teenager. Though l was at the ceremony and nicely decorated with the best ornament, l did not understand the significance of what took place that day.

When l completed the university, l was not given a breathing space but asked to move into my husband’s house, although l was not mentally prepared for marriage.

I must admit that l was not enthused about getting married to this man but since my parents and the family head impressed upon me, l had no choice but to accept the offer.

Frankly, l am not happy in this marriage because our way of life and perception about issues are different. I have tried hard to tolerate his character but l think things are moving out of order.

This has generated frequent quarrels, l often lose my heart beat and this leaves me in total fear.

I am planning to leave the marriage to the displeasure of my parents.

Will l be taking the right step if l go ahead with my plan?

Abena, Koforidua.

Dear Abena,

Our elders treasured family marriages in order to protect their children from maltreatment, provide them with the love, security and help preserve their wealth.

Parents know the character of their children and the sort of spouse that will be suitable for them, hence the decision to arrange for family marriages.

Since parents conduct background checks of would-be spouses of their children, it is also believed that picking one of their own is better, and some successful marriages can attest to this special arrangement.

The uniqueness of God has brought about the differences in each person’s character and the way we do things and react to issues.

Unfortunately, some of these marriages do not work out well as one would have expected because the individuals did not get the opportunity to study each other before getting married.

Having tolerated him all these years, it will be ideal if you can cope with the differences since they are not life-threatening and live together, especially if there are children in the marriage.

But if things are not getting better, then you can inform your parents that you cannot bear it any longer.

Obaa Yaa

My journalist fiancé has no time for me

Published

6 days ago

February 28, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

MY fiancé is a journalist with one of the reputable media houses in Ghana.

Plans are far advanced for us to tie the knot but my worry is that he’s always busy and comes home late every evening when I am in bed.

By the nature of his work and schedule, as soon as he comes home, he takes his bath and supper. The next thing is to sleep without spending time with me.

He has no holiday. On Sundays, he goes again to work after church service. I am beginning to entertain some fears that things will get worse when we get married.

I am the type who like to be pampered but my fiancé is not pampering me.

Please advise me to make an informed decision before it becomes too late.

Paulina,
Dodowa.

Dear Paulina,

THERE are no specified working hours for journalists. In short, they are always on the move.

That is why it appears they cannot be good husbands.

And if you want a man who will be at home and pamper you, then a journalist might not suit that purpose, unless he is on leave.

However, I wouldn’t discourage you. Journalists are very interesting people who learn a lot and can help you to widen your outlook.

Don’t look at the romantic aspect of it only; consider the future of the relationship, your self-development and the future of your children. I wish you all the best.

Obaa Yaa

My boss wants me to wear short skirt

Published

6 days ago

February 28, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a Christian sister who believe in the biblical code of modest dressing as a mark of a true Christian.

My dress is always the long type, covering my knees.

My boss addressed me yesterday that such dressing was not needed in the company, particularly as a Personal Assistant.

He says my dresses should be office mini type to show my legs to attract a lot of customers since we are in the business of selling.

Obaa Yaa, I am confused about my boss’s demand as this will affect my Christian principle of decent and modest Christian dressing.

Please advise me.

Emefa,
Sogakope.

Dear Emefa,

Normally, Personal Assistants are generally expected to be smart in skirt and top of the same material or white top and blue- black skirt.

Unusually long dresses or skirts do not make Personal Assistant look smart, so employers will normally require that very long dresses are not worn by their PAs.

You could get skirts that are long enough to cover your knees so that your thighs are not exposed. You can look decent in that and do your job.

However, if your particular church does not allow the exposure of even your legs, then the only option is to resign and get another job where your kind of dressing will be tolerated.