Obaa Yaa
Who is telling the truth?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in a relationship for some years now and planning to get married pretty soon.
However, certain developments are quite disturbing and could end our relationship on a bad note.
My girlfriend had complained to me that my best friend had attempted to have an affair with her. But my friend also informed me that my girl friend has a secret lover who has been meeting her occasionally.
I am disturbed about these pieces of information and do not know the appropriate step to take and who to believe.
I enquired from my girl friend to find out the veracity of the information l had received about her but she has ever since denied indulging in an extra relationship.
Since such issues have the potential to ruin our relationship, what should l do?
Daniel, Dodowa.
Dear Daniel,
I can envisage the situation you find yourself and how confused you may be. This is a serious issue which must be handled with tact and diplomacy.
You have to undertake thorough investigation into the conduct of the two individuals to find out the truth surrounding their claims and who is playing the mischief in this instance.
If your friend’s assertion is true, then it means he has identified your lady as someone who has the tendency to give in easily, hence his decision to take advantage of her.
Marriage should be based on trust and mutual respect for each other since it is a life-long process. That is why you have to study each other very well before you finally tie the knot to start this journey.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
