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Tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships

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 1. Get to know yourself

Take the time to appreciate yourself and get in touch with your emotions to be able to express yourself clearly and more effectively.

Not knowing how to regu­late your emotions and express them healthily can negatively affect your mental well-being.

2. Put in the work

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Healthy relationships are not found but built.

A healthy relationship needs commitment and willingness to be accommodating to each other’s needs.

3. Set and respect boundaries

Setting boundaries is not only about what you don’t want or like in your relationships, but also about letting the people around you know what you appreciate.

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Think about and let others know where your boundaries are; respecting your time alone for example.

Doing this can take the pres­sure off your relationship to com­mit to anything unrealistic.

4. Talk and listen

All relationships have disagree­ments and that’s ok. What matters is how you talk and listen to one another.

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Listen to understand, rather than listening to respond.

Don’t be afraid to express your emotions or vulnerabilities with people you trust.

5. Let go of control

A lot of life is about how we react to our experiences and encounters. Knowing that you can only really control what you do and not what anyone else does will save you time and stress.

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6. Reflect and learn

If you have a healthy way of expressing your feelings, you’re able to react to other people’s in a healthy way. Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset. If you can recognise that, you can communicate it, and build better relationships with others.

Reflect on the relationships that work best in your life, what qualities do these relationships have, and how can you bring these qualities into other relationships?

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Relationship

How to Navigate Social Media Boundaries as a Couple

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Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.

1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.

2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”

3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.

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4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.

5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.

6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.

Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.

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Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre

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Vulnerability, Openness Strengthen Relationship Bond

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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.

The Power of Vulnerability

Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.

When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.

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Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness

  1. Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
  2. Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
  3. Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
  4. Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.

Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships

So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:

  1. Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
  2. Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
  3. Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
  4. Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.

In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.

Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.

To be continued…

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Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).

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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES
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