Obaa Yaa
Text message exposes my boyfriend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.
Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.
I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.
He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.
My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.
I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.
Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.
I read the message when he was having his bath.
Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.
How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?
Abrefi, Tesano.
*****
Dear Abrefi,
I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.
I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.
He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.
This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.
In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
