Relationship
Stop damaging your love life!
Sometimes, unknowingly, we are doing things that don’t positively impact our lives. These habits have a way of subconsciously seeping into our daily life so we don’t even realise that the fault might be our own. We always have someone else to blame for our failures. Possibly, you are doing a lot of things right, but one of these might be reducing your chances of being in a healthy relationship. If you are doing even one of the following, you need to stop right now!
Cutting yourself off from social interactions
If you are looking to meet someone while you stay inside a shell, waiting to be discovered, then I’m sorry to tell you that the chances of that happening are scarce. Life is no Disney movie. You need to put yourself out there. If you keep turning down every invitation, don’t indulge in group activities, excuse yourself from conversations; you are reducing the chances of ever meeting the one with some potential. The game rules are; you need to play if you want to win.
Settling for a temporary relationship
Many people choose to be with the wrong person over being alone. If you are settling for someone not suitable for you, killing time as you wait for the right one to come along, you need to burst this bubble. You will never meet your right match if you are stuck with the wrong one, and how do you even explore your options if you are not even a hundred per cent available, not without cheating on your present partner, of course. So be honest with yourself and your partner, and don’t settle for a mediocre relationship if that’s not what you were looking for.
Coming off as desperate
Remember that creepy guy/girl from college who was always found around you, not giving up any opportunity to talk to you? Think back to what a big turn-off it was, and even if they were a nice person, you always ran in the opposite direction because of how desperate they were. So, unless you are trying to attract that freak from college, be available but don’t appear too desperate. Be subtle in your approach, don’t lose your poise, and appear overly eager.
Being around people who are cynical about love
Do most of your friends have negative opinions about love and relationships and can’t stop going on and on about what a waste of time love is? If yes, you need to spend less time with them, else this negativity will affect you and your perspective towards love. It’s okay if they try to cheer you up from your recent break-up, but if this is who they are, you don’t want that kind of disapproval for love in your life. You may have had a couple of unsuccessful relationships, but that should not make you bitter about ever finding love again. How will you find something you don’t even believe exists, and by all means, love does exist? You just need to give yourself a chance to be accepting of it.
Overindulging in comfort food/drinks etc
You will never see an emotionally healthy person constantly drowning in their sorrows in comfort food, drinks, maybe even alcohol, etc. It’s okay to do it occasionally, but if you are always seen with a big bag of chips or can’t function without a bit of hash, this is a big turn-off. Nobody wants to be with a person who has labelled himself or herself as unhappy and emotionally unstable, and chances are if you keep up with this detrimental habit, very soon your physical health will start showing the signs too.
Having a negative mindset
Many people who have been single for a long time or have had unsuccessful relationships develop a pessimistic mindset. In this kind, even though you are open to dating, you know it’s going to be of ‘no use.’ If you keep having a hopeless outlook towards finding the right partner, this will be visible in all your social interactions, and your overall energy will be below. You won’t put in enough effort in building up a conversation because you think it’s a waste etc. Your perspective will affect your actions and how much you invest in communicating with someone.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be a tricky task. With the constant access to our loved ones’ lives that social media provides, it’s important to establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy and trusting relationship. Here are some tips to help couples manage social media use.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step in setting boundaries on social media is to talk openly and honestly with your partner about how you both feel regarding social media usage. These conversations can be challenging but are essential for maintaining understanding and trust.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be specific about the behaviour that bothers you and what you would like to change.
- Instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Respect and understand your partner’s point of view. The goal is not to control each other, but to create a healthy balance that strengthens the relationship.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette involves setting clear guidelines for how you and your partner will interact online. This may include:
- Whether you will follow each other on social media.
- What kinds of photos or posts are acceptable.
- How to interact with friends, family, or others online.
Privacy is key in these discussions.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is one of the most critical aspects of social media boundaries:
- Do not snoop on your partner’s social media accounts.
- Avoid sharing personal information about them.
- Don’t post pictures or updates they may be uncomfortable with.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Social media often highlights only the “best moments” of relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to others online.
- Focus on your unique relationship and its successes.
- Remember that every relationship faces its own challenges and joys.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is crucial for a healthy, happy relationship. Key factors include:
- Open and honest communication.
- Respect for each other’s privacy.
- Avoiding comparisons using social media as a benchmark.
By prioritising these practices, couples can strengthen trust, intimacy, and emotional connection while navigating the digital world together.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled who were struggling to connect after a recent move found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper Understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased Empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic Connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start Small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. Gradually share more personal aspects of yourself as you become comfortable.
- Practice Active Listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be Present: Focus on the present moment and let go of distractions. This will help you stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, couples are better able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners.
As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei
(Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor)
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Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC Counsellor Training Institute)
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