Obaa Yaa
Should I cancel the arrangement?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I met a young lady on Facebook recently. We exchanged contact and started dating. I have introduced her to my parents and have planned meeting her parents as well so we can make the necessary marriage arrangements.
We were having an online conversation about a week ago and I told her I needed to catch up with some business appointment so I would connect with her later. I tried reaching her later but I realised my number had been blocked.
She unblocked me subsequently and sent a long voice note that she was not interested in the marriage arrangements. She is a good woman with a good heart and I really love her. Should I tell my family what has happened so
Nana Kwame
Dear Nana Kwame,
Telling her you were going offline to attend a business meeting should not have incurred her ‘wrath’. There may be some other underlining factors why your girlfriend reacted the way she did. Try talking to her and resolve any issues there maybe. But if there is no problem at all and your girlfriend has only decided to be that rude towards you, then she may not be ready for marriage. Your family would understand when you decide not to go ahead with the marriage arrangement. If all avenues to get her back fail, letting her go could be the better option.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.