Obaa Yaa
My mother is bitter
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My elder sister and her boyfriend want to settle down in September but there is some confusion over who will give out the marriage list. My mother thinks my father does not deserve that honour because he had abandoned us for the past 15 years.
The two-bedroom self-contained house in which we live belongs to my father. He owns other houses also which my mother has rented out. My mother is threatening to disown my sister if she involves our father in the marriage arrangements.
Our father has apologised to us and we have forgiven him but I do not know why mom is still bitter. We have tried to convince her but she will not listen to us. What do we do?
Mabel, Kasoa.
Dear Mabel,
Irrespective of whatever happened in the past, your father still has a place in the marriage ceremony. Once he is alive, he has to take the bride price and bless the marriage. However, your mother may be bitter because she might have endured a lot of challenges in the last 15 years when your father was ‘absent’.
Engage your mother once again and help her to forgive your father so they both can support the marriage ceremony. You and your siblings can as well talk to elders in your family to talk to your mother. Hopefully, things will work out because your father’s blessing is important in the marriage. But if all possible resolutions fail, respect your mother’s decision.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.
We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.
My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.
Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.
We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.
Lartey,
Sunyani
Dear Lartey,
I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.
What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?
Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.
I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.
Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.
I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.
I have a girlfriend who is ‘allergic’ to me and ‘allergic’ to men in general.
Because of this, I barely touch her. I do not sit too close to her. I do not even hold her hands for long.
We have tried before. Even recently, we tried again. At first, things looked normal.
Then suddenly she lifted her hands and started scratching her back aggressively. We stopped immediately. Moments later, she ran to the bathroom and started vomiting.
She spent almost four hours there, weak, nauseous, and drained.
Watching someone you love suffer while you cannot do anything about it is painful. Is it a curse or an allergy?
Hello Christian,
What you’re describing sounds frightening and emotionally exhausting for both of you. But it is important not to jump to the idea of a curse.
Severe reactions after touch, closeness, stress, or intimacy can sometimes be linked to medical conditions, allergies, anxiety responses, trauma, or psychosomatic reactions.
The safest and most loving step is encouraging her to see qualified doctors, especially an allergist and mental health professional, so the cause can be properly understood.
Your patience already shows deep care. Do not blame yourself or search for supernatural explanations first.
Focus on support, medical guidance, emotional safety, and honest communication while protecting both her health and your relationship.
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