Obaa Yaa
Will she change?
Dear Oba Yaa,
I have a child with a lady who is a teacher in one of the public institutions in Accra and we have been together for five years.
I love my girlfriend and I intend marrying her. But my worry is that I have never received a gift from her, not even on my birthday. She will remind me about a month to her own birthday so I get her a gift but when mine is due, I don’t even get a bar of chocolate.
She is always making demands but I get nothing in return. She will call me to send her as low as GH¢ 20.00 when our son needs money.
I sponsored her throughout her tertiary education until she graduated and got a job. I have plans of marrying her but judging from her current attitude, I am scared she would not be supportive when we get married. Should I go ahead, will she change?
Kobby, Adabraka.
Dear Kobby,
It seems your primary love language is receiving gifts. That is okay. But not receiving a gift from the lady you so much love is not enough grounds to call it quits. Draw her attention to the one-sided relationship when it comes to the exchange of gifts.
Discuss the essence of her lending support in the relationship and why she should not only be at the receiving end. Do not end it because you don’t receive anything on your birthday. But if your girlfriend has other negative attributes than positives which are unbearable, then you may advise yourself properly.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
