Obaa Yaa
Should I accept her back?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were lovers for a couple of years and things were moving on well for us, a condition which gave us much joy. Encouraged by how things went between us, we planned to seal our relationship with a memorable marriage.
Unfortunately, my lady, with reasons best known to her, became dissatisfied with me, her character suddenly changed towards me and shunned my company a few months ago.
After one year, she entered into another relationship and had a child.
The child is five years old and she has started calling my number frequently to find out how I am doing.
Though we sometimes exchanged pleasantries and talked for some period, I have been very careful not to be enticed by her in any way.
Surprisingly, she has been pleading that she wronged me, adding that I should take her back since she made a mistake by leaving me for another man who has neglected her eventually and got married.
My worry is that she won the hearts of my parents and they wished she was my wife, but they were disappointed at the decision she took.
Though she is out of my way, they occasionally mention her in their conversations, an indication that they still have her in mind. Should I accept her back?
Michael, Kaneshie-Accra.
Dear Michael,
Love strives on many things, including tolerance, perseverance, the willingness to forgive and fruitful conditions.
I am pretty sure your lover might have seen something good in the person who had lured and eventually won her love.
It is good she had the opportunity to study the two of you and has now inferred that you are better than the other man, hence her decision to plead for forgiveness that you take her back.
Do not be in hurry to make a hasty decision in this case since you could be making a mistake. You ought to take your time, seek the consent of your parents since she was in their good books before her abrupt decision to leave you.
Love has deeper meaning and various considerations which must be carefully employed. In view of this, you have to listen to your conscience and go by it.
My conviction is that having known each other very well will provide the mutual understanding which is necessary for your marriage to last.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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