Odd News
Short Jokes
“Sofishticated.”
- “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
- “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
- “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
- “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
- “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
- “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
- “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
- “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”
- “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
- “How does dry skin affect you at work?” “You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it.”
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.
What do call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending.
Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.
Did you hear about the fragile myth? It was busted.
I can always tell when someone is lying. I can tell when they’re standing too.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.
A brown bear wandered into a hotel in Tibet and forced its way into a locked room with two guests inside.
Security camera footage from the hotel in Nagqu shows the bear wander down a hallway inside the building on Saturday and force its way through a door into an occupied room.
The guests in the room said they stared at the bear for a few seconds before it left the room on its own.
The hotel owner used a flashlight and other tools to scare the bear and chase it out of the building.The door has since been repaired and the hotel said it is adding additional security measures to keep bears out.
