“Sofishticated.”

• “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
• “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
• “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
• “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
• “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
• “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
• “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
• “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”
• “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
• “How does dry skin affect you at work?” “You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it.”