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Palaver of the busy policeman

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I GUESS to become a very good cop master, one must have the patience to listen to plenty of nonsense without feeling dizzy. That is why I advised a policeman friend to eat four balls of Ga kenkey every morning to cope with the job.  He has taken my advice, and each morning, you can see him walking like a ball of kenkey.

The complaints come in many forms and ramifications. A husband who can’t take his wife’s nagging any longer bursts into the charge office fuming with red eyes and promptly declares that his wife is in danger. Asked to give details, he says that he has well-rehearsed plans to slap the woman with such horse-power that she’d get brain damage if she doesn’t fall into coma.

Asked to give further details, he says, his wife has been nagging him for 17 years now about frivolous matters including akpeteshie drinking, although he has told her there is no way he can stop drinking the stuff. In short, he is lodging a complaint to precede the domestic revolutionary action, which he believes can be comparable to the Iranian Ayatollah revolution.

The disgruntled husband then proceeds to define what a revolution is and elucidates on the different types of revolutions. By the time he ends his complaint, he has told his life history in perfect detail, beginning from where and when he was born.

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If the policeman is not patient he cannot listen to such a complaint. But it is in listening that he can diagnose whether the complainant is merely suffering from a hangover or has a genuine case to contest.

Anyhow, the wife must be invited to give her version of the domestic palaver. But it is not in her nature to go straight to point. God forbid! She must give the account in such an elaborate manner to make it plausible, to portray her husband as Satan personified. Such an account must be bombastic in nature, alliterative in content, and proverbial in style.

But she must begin by driving home the point that she is from a royal family, quite similar to the circumstances of Lady Diana, and must be regarded as such. If the policeman says the point is irrelevant and, therefore, not germane to the case at hand, she insist that it is relevant, even pertinent to the case. And she’d prove why.

Before the policeman gets to listen to the real case 45 minutes has elapsed. And the real case. “My husband is the worst form of idiot you can find worldwide. He is a fool, he is a hopeless man, he’s a damn fool. In a nutshell, he is not normal…”

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The policeman will raise a point of order and remind her that the forum isn’t for delivering abusive missiles but to solve a matter amicably so that husband can go back home hand-in-hand.

Wahalla

Finally, the woman, in boring detail will preach a litany of her husband’s misconduct and transgression which border on alcoholic predilections, chopmoney wahalla, extra-time demands for sex, total neglect of  the children, kola chewing, common smoking, insulting of mothers-in-law, whatever.

By the time she is half-way through, the policeman is no longer listening. Instead he’d be dozing, on the verge of snoring away.

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In conclusion, the woman would swear that she has no patience for a man with so many problems and that is prepared for a divorce. If the divorce isn’t granted, she’d leave the children and run away so that the husband would learn sense.

At this point, the policeman comes to realise that he is dealing with exceptional couples who can talk for 24 hours non-stop and require more time to conclude. So he must not allow any of the parties to cross examine the other, otherwise, he’d lose stamina and run out of gas, despite eating four balls of kenkey early in the morning.

He must proceed to counsel the couple, pointing it out to them that their basic problem is that they talk too much for comfort. If they could talk less and concentrate on the solution of their problems, they’d be making a headway. Divorce may not be the answer. Life-long marriage demands mutual love and understanding. Case close! The couples go back home fuming and the policeman can breathe easily now. Too much tension to begin with!

Salute

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He must now walk around and stretch his muscles. He walks outside the charge office yawning and is confronted by a laughing lunatic. He salutes the policeman.

Go away from here,” the officer orders promptly.

“Go away to where?” the mad man enquires. “I’ve come to lodge a complaint. I want you to go and arrest the government. From morning till now, I’ve not eaten yor ke gari. It’s not fair to me.”

After handling the crazy fellow’s complaint, a furious woman almost bounds into him. She has come to lodge a complaint that her next-door neighbour is fond of looking into her soup pot whenever she is preparing soup. This is her last warning, she swears.

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Another comes to complain that a neighbour’s child has defecated all over her veranda and the mother is not willing to scrub off the green stomach matter.

The last ludicrous complaint a young woman of about 35 made to a police officer was about a fortnight ago. She had come to complain about a man who presented himself to her as a burgher from Germany. He promised to marry her and she obliged. The man promised to give her some dollars, so she allowed him to have sex with her so many times even when she was not in the mood for it. “The man likes the thing too much,” she lamented.

The last time they met, the man folded a GH¢500 note and tucked it into her palm when she went to see him off at night. She thought it was 100 dollars. She got home and realised that it was common GH¢500. She had since not seen the man. She was depressed and wanted to know from the cop whether the man could be jailed for the “offence”, coming to realise that the man was not a burgher after all?

The policeman was amused. “As for this one, please go and solve it yourself,” he said. “I tire!”

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 This article was first published on Saturday September 19, 1998

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Understanding women’s emotionsProofreadUnderstanding women’s emotionsProofread

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The emotional lives of women are deep and complex. They are shaped by biology, the brain, and how women interact with the world around them. While everyone feels emotions, science shows unique patterns in how women process and express them.

1. How the brain and body work

​Emotions are not just feelings in the mind. They are physical processes controlled by the brain and body:

Connected brain halves: Studies show that women often have strong connections between the left and right sides of the brain. This helps women link logic with intuition and feelings very quickly.

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Strong memories: The brain’s emotional centre helps women remember emotional events with vivid detail. This builds strong gut feelings and helps women learn from past experiences.

Hormone changes: Hormones like estrogen and progesterone change throughout the month. Estrogen can boost good moods and energy, while progesterone can cause calmness or quiet reflection. These shifts are natural physical responses.

2. Empathy and connection

​Women often show high levels of empathy and social skill:

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Mirror neurons: People have brain cells called mirror neurons that let us feel what others feel. Research suggests these networks help women deeply sense and understand the emotions of people around them.

​The “Tend-and-Befriend” Response: When stressed, men often react with fight or flight. Women often use a “tend-and-befriend” response. Driven by bonding hormones, women are wired to care for others and seek support from friends and community during hard times.

3. Society and expectations

​Society also shapes how women express their feelings:

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Different rules: Girls are often taught to be nurturing and expressive. However, society sometimes judges women harshly if they show anger or act too assertive at work. This forces women to balance their true feelings with outside expectations.

Emotional labor: Women often carry the weight of keeping families and workplaces happy. While this builds strong bonds, it can also lead to tiredness if they do not take time for themselves.

4. Resilience and Intuition

​These biological and social factors give women great emotional strength:

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The Power of Sharing: Many women are good at processing sadness, joy, and love by talking with others. This helps them heal and grow.

Listening to intuition: “Woman’s intuition” is real. It is not magic; it is the brain quickly putting together past experiences, physical clues, and deep observations into a clear gut feeling.

Conclusion

​Women’s emotions are a powerful and sophisticated system. They are driven by brain science, body chemistry, and deep empathy. Understanding these systems helps us see the vital role women play in building strong relationships and communities.

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By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2

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An abandoned baby

The root causes: It is never just one reason

My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:

1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency

a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.

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b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.

c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.

2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.

3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”

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4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment. 

5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.

6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.

The invisible wounds

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On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”

On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.

On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.

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