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Why old age does not reward sacrifice- Part 2

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Simple Explanation

​The original article argues against the common belief that suffering and self-sacrifice now will pay off with happiness and respect when you get old.

​In simple terms, it means:

​The “Sacrifice Trap”: We are often taught that if we give up our own happiness, health, and peace to please others or work too hard, life will reward us later.

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​The Reality: Life and biology don’t work that way. Old age doesn’t hand out prizes for how much you suffered. Instead, it simply shows the wear and tear of those choices.

The Lesson: Stop waiting until you are old to take care of yourself. Protect your body, mind, and boundaries right now, because nobody rewards a martyr.

​Rewritten Article (Plain Language)

Why suffering doesn’t pay off when you get old

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​We grow up believing a comforting lie: that if we sacrifice our happiness, time, and peace today, life will reward us with comfort and respect when we are old.

We think that working ourselves to the bone, staying silent when we should speak, and putting everyone else first is like putting money in a savings account. We expect old age to hand us a prize for our endurance.

​It doesn’t happen.

​Old age isn’t a reward ceremony; it’s a reality check. The hardest truth about growing older is that time doesn’t care how much you gave up. It only cares about how well you survived the journey.

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The problem with waiting

​When you constantly sacrifice your needs, you aren’t saving up credit—you are going into debt physically and emotionally.

​When people reach old age, society expects them to relax and enjoy a peaceful retirement earned through decades of self-doubt and quiet suffering. But look at reality. Achy joints and a tired body don’t hurt because you lived a noble history; they hurt because you spent your energy on things that didn’t matter or appreciate the cost. The silence you kept to “keep the peace” just turns into loneliness.

​Time doesn’t make a sacrificed life look better; it just highlights the emptiness left behind.

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The toll on your body and mind

​Constantly denying yourself takes a massive toll:

​Your Body Wears Out: Every time you ignore your body’s signals to keep pushing through stress, you build up tension. Over decades, that tension ruins your posture and breaks down your physical health.

Your mind gets tired: Burying your true feelings turns into bitterness. When the stressful jobs or one-sided relationships finally end, you are left feeling empty instead of victorious.

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​Biology doesn’t check your resume to see how many weekends you gave up. It just looks at how you treated your body. If you spent your whole life running on empty, your body simply breaks down sooner.

Taking control right now

​If old age won’t reward your sacrifices, the smart thing to do is stop making them. You shouldn’t wait until retirement to be in charge of your own life.

Here is how to change course:

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Stop keeping score: Stop enduring bad situations just because you expect a payout later. If a job or relationship requires you to destroy your peace of mind, walk away.

Put yourself first: No job, system, or person is worth destroying your physical and mental health. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

Change how you define success: You are not remembered for how quietly you suffered, but for how honestly and freely you lived.

​The years will pass whether you spend them as a people-pleaser or as someone who values their own well-being. Stop waiting for the future to thank you for suffering, and start living a life that makes you happy today.

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By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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Understanding women’s emotionsProofreadUnderstanding women’s emotionsProofread

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The emotional lives of women are deep and complex. They are shaped by biology, the brain, and how women interact with the world around them. While everyone feels emotions, science shows unique patterns in how women process and express them.

1. How the brain and body work

​Emotions are not just feelings in the mind. They are physical processes controlled by the brain and body:

Connected brain halves: Studies show that women often have strong connections between the left and right sides of the brain. This helps women link logic with intuition and feelings very quickly.

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Strong memories: The brain’s emotional centre helps women remember emotional events with vivid detail. This builds strong gut feelings and helps women learn from past experiences.

Hormone changes: Hormones like estrogen and progesterone change throughout the month. Estrogen can boost good moods and energy, while progesterone can cause calmness or quiet reflection. These shifts are natural physical responses.

2. Empathy and connection

​Women often show high levels of empathy and social skill:

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Mirror neurons: People have brain cells called mirror neurons that let us feel what others feel. Research suggests these networks help women deeply sense and understand the emotions of people around them.

​The “Tend-and-Befriend” Response: When stressed, men often react with fight or flight. Women often use a “tend-and-befriend” response. Driven by bonding hormones, women are wired to care for others and seek support from friends and community during hard times.

3. Society and expectations

​Society also shapes how women express their feelings:

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Different rules: Girls are often taught to be nurturing and expressive. However, society sometimes judges women harshly if they show anger or act too assertive at work. This forces women to balance their true feelings with outside expectations.

Emotional labor: Women often carry the weight of keeping families and workplaces happy. While this builds strong bonds, it can also lead to tiredness if they do not take time for themselves.

4. Resilience and Intuition

​These biological and social factors give women great emotional strength:

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The Power of Sharing: Many women are good at processing sadness, joy, and love by talking with others. This helps them heal and grow.

Listening to intuition: “Woman’s intuition” is real. It is not magic; it is the brain quickly putting together past experiences, physical clues, and deep observations into a clear gut feeling.

Conclusion

​Women’s emotions are a powerful and sophisticated system. They are driven by brain science, body chemistry, and deep empathy. Understanding these systems helps us see the vital role women play in building strong relationships and communities.

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By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2

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An abandoned baby

The root causes: It is never just one reason

My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:

1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency

a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.

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b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.

c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.

2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.

3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”

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4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment. 

5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.

6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.

The invisible wounds

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On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”

On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.

On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.

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