Relationship
Qualities to look out for in your marriage counsellor
As you begin your journey of marriage, remember that seeking help from a professional marriage therapist or counsellor can be a valuable asset to your relationship.
I admit there are so many characteristics you would have to consider when choosing your marriage therapist or counsellor. Therefore, I will start by introducing you to the core qualities that your marriage counsellor or therapist must possess:
1. Professional qualifications and credentials
Check the counsellor’s qualifications, such as their educational background, counselling certifications, and any specialised training in marriage counselling (for instance, Counselor Prince & Associates Consult’s ‘Certificate in Counselling and Marriage Therapy,’ which is accredited by Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).
Ensure the therapist or counsellor has appropriate credentials and is licensed or at least certified. For instance, if you are in Ghana, the counsellor must be licensed with the Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).
2. Rapport building and creating a welcoming atmosphere
Your marriage therapist or counsellor should possess the critical skills of building rapport and creating a welcoming environment for you and your partner.
Imagine you and your partner walk into a marriage counsellor’s office for the first time. You are nervous, vulnerable, and unsure about what lies ahead.
It is important that the counsellor you choose understands the value of rapport building and creating a warm and inviting space for you both.
Rapport building is the foundation of any successful counselling relationship. It is all about your counsellor establishing a connection, trust, and understanding with you and your partner.
Creating a welcoming atmosphere goes beyond having a cozy office or providing refreshments. It is about making you and your partner feel valued and respected from the moment you step through the door.
Your counsellor should start by greeting you and your partner with a smile and a genuine welcome. They must show sincere concern, making it clear that your struggles matter to them.
The counsellor must pay attention to their own body language, ensuring it conveys openness and approachability. For instance, a simple gesture like offering you a comfortable seat or a bottle of water can go a long way in making you feel at ease.
Finally, remember that building a rapport and creating a welcoming atmosphere is an ongoing process. That means your counsellor must continuously check in with you and your partner, ask for your feedback, and adjust their approach accordingly.
3. Strong communication skills
A good marriage counsellor or therapist should have excellent active listening skills, questioning skills, clarification and reflecting skills, as well as general communication skills, just to mention a few.
Your counsellor should be able to facilitate constructive dialogue between you and your partner.
For your counsellor to be a good listener, they must make you feel heard and understood. This means giving you undivided attention, maintaining eye contact, and responding empathically to your concerns.
The counsellor should be able to articulate his or her thoughts, wisdom and guidance to you and your partner in a clear manner.
4. Impartial and non-judgmental attitude
The counsellor or therapist should have the ability to create a safe and non-judgmental space for you. It is essential that you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of criticism or condemnation.
A skilled counsellor should maintain a non-judgmental and objective stance when helping you.
A professional marriage counsellor will remain neutral and unbiased throughout the therapeutic process. They will not take sides or favour one partner over the other.
Instead, they will listen to both of you attentively, offer insights, and guide you towards a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamics. This objectivity helps ensure fairness and creates a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and concerns.
Remember, the journey to growth and experiencing a happy and fulfilling marriage begins with you feeling safe and well supported.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
The Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
- Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES
CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING
INSTITUTE)
