Obaa Yaa
Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me
We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.
I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.
My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.
In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.
She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.
Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.
Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.
My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.
The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?
Patience- Accra.
Dear Patience,
I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.
Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.
Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.
You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple.
You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
