Obaa Yaa
My wife is lazy in bed
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 40 -year old married and a business man living at Kasoa. My wife, who is 32-years-old, is very supportive and kindhearted.
The only problem is that she is lazy in bed and that is making me lose interest in her.
My wife complains about any position during sex and keeps telling me that my sex drive is too high.
We have been counselled several times by our pastor and families but still no improvement.
I am worried that I might cheat on her. Please what should I do?
Addo, Kasoa.
Dear Addo,
Sex forms an important part of marriage life and should not be played with. In marriage, if this aspect is not handled well, it results in serious problems.
It is important to note that husbands and wives have individual differences and tastes which they must identify and be tolerant in helping each other to overcome those differences.
Since it is not easy to get a perfect match in marriage, you must work out modalities to meet each other half-way in your sex life so that each person will be satisfied.
It is better to accommodate the shortcomings of your wife than to cheat on her, which will eventually cause the collapse of your family.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.
It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.
But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.
I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?
Kersi,
Osu.
Dear Kersi,
Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.
They also get stigmatised by society.
It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.
Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.
I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.
They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.
I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am very angry with my landlord. He impregnated my niece and when I took the matter up, he has asked us to leave his house.
He has refused to pay for her upkeep and I have also refused to pay for the rest of the rent for the last year of my agreement with him.
I do not intend leaving my current accommodation. My landlord has threatened to kill me. My wife is also putting pressure on me that we should leave. What should I do?
A.B,
Bogoso.
Dear A.B
If your landlord has impregnated your niece then he must be made to bear the financial responsibility that comes with it.
Seek legal advice on how he should care for your niece and at the same time work out an accommodation arrangement since your agreement with him has not yet expired.
I hope your landlord would reason with you and make it possible for you to stay there. However, if he does not, you will need to report his threat of death to the police and begin to look for alternative accommodation.
But whether the accommodation issue is sorted or not, your landlord must take care of that pregnancy and child to be born even if it means taking him to court.
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