Obaa Yaa
My husband sleeps on the floor
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I dated for three years before we got married last year.
A year before we got married, he moved into my apartment and I made him to sleep on the floor to prevent the two of us from engaging in pre-marital sex.
Unfortunately, he still prefers sleeping on a mattress on the floor even after we got married.
I have complained about his conduct a couple of times, but he is not ready to share the same bed with me.
Anytime I joined him on the floor, he then moved back to sleep on the bed. I am worried about the situation because we do not have sex frequently.
What should I do?
Edith, Sakaman
Dear Edith,
Your decision not to share the same bed prior to your marriage in order to prevent pre-marital sex was good and the two of you must be com¬mended for holding firm to that decision.
Now that you are married, sleeping on separate beds should be a thing of the past. Both of you must demonstrate that you are a couple and must do things together with mu¬tual understanding as regards to what to do at a particular time.
You must interrogate your husband further to find out if there is a hidden agenda for his action. He owes you an expla¬nation to his conduct because the situation cannot continue to remain as it is.
It is also important to find out if there is an underlying problem which is responsible for his conduct.
It could be that your hus¬band has another lover for which reason he is no longer interested in you.
Until he is able to tell you the reason for his action, the problem cannot be solved.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
