Obaa Yaa
My husband sleeps on the floor
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I dated for three years before we got married last year.
A year before we got married, he moved into my apartment and I made him to sleep on the floor to prevent the two of us from engaging in pre-marital sex.
Unfortunately, he still prefers sleeping on a mattress on the floor even after we got married.
I have complained about his conduct a couple of times, but he is not ready to share the same bed with me.
Anytime I joined him on the floor, he then moved back to sleep on the bed. I am worried about the situation because we do not have sex frequently.
What should I do?
Edith, Sakaman
Dear Edith,
Your decision not to share the same bed prior to your marriage in order to prevent pre-marital sex was good and the two of you must be com¬mended for holding firm to that decision.
Now that you are married, sleeping on separate beds should be a thing of the past. Both of you must demonstrate that you are a couple and must do things together with mu¬tual understanding as regards to what to do at a particular time.
You must interrogate your husband further to find out if there is a hidden agenda for his action. He owes you an expla¬nation to his conduct because the situation cannot continue to remain as it is.
It is also important to find out if there is an underlying problem which is responsible for his conduct.
It could be that your hus¬band has another lover for which reason he is no longer interested in you.
Until he is able to tell you the reason for his action, the problem cannot be solved.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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