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Obaa Yaa

My husband sleeps on the floor

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Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I dated for three years before we got married last year.
A year before we got married, he moved into my apartment and I made him to sleep on the floor to prevent the two of us from engaging in pre-marital sex.
Unfortunately, he still prefers sleeping on a mattress on the floor even after we got married.
I have complained about his conduct a couple of times, but he is not ready to share the same bed with me.
Anytime I joined him on the floor, he then moved back to sleep on the bed. I am worried about the situation because we do not have sex frequently.
What should I do?
Edith, Sakaman

Dear Edith,
Your decision not to share the same bed prior to your marriage in order to prevent pre-marital sex was good and the two of you must be com¬mended for holding firm to that decision.
Now that you are married, sleeping on separate beds should be a thing of the past. Both of you must demonstrate that you are a couple and must do things together with mu¬tual understanding as regards to what to do at a particular time.
You must interrogate your husband further to find out if there is a hidden agenda for his action. He owes you an expla¬nation to his conduct because the situation cannot continue to remain as it is.
It is also important to find out if there is an underlying problem which is responsible for his conduct.
It could be that your hus¬band has another lover for which reason he is no longer interested in you.
Until he is able to tell you the reason for his action, the problem cannot be solved.

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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