Obaa Yaa
My wife is building secretly
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been married for the past 15 years. Although our marital journey has not been easy, I love my wife.
At a point in our marriage, I betrayed my wife by impregnating a co-worker. I asked for forgiveness from my wife and she accepted by apology.
Recently, I discovered that my wife had built two houses and rented them without my knowledge.
The most painful thing is that she has willed these houses to the children which I found in our wardrobe.
When I confronted her she claimed that the reason for her behaviour was because she had lost trust in me after I impregnated a co-worker.
I am confused. What should I do to win her trust?
Jacob, Osu.
Dear Jacob,
This is an interesting letter which will serve as a useful lesson for couples.
Marriage basically thrives on love, trust and a great deal of tolerance. Couples must always ensure that these fundamentals are safeguarded in order to keep the marriage safe.
Unfortunately, you have grossly abused the trust of your wife and have called for this negative response from her. Judging by her behaviour, this is the best way for her to retaliate.
Though it is unfortunate that she has built houses without your knowledge, you should know that you have called for the tune and must, therefore, be prepared to dance according to it.
Secondly, you must be grateful that she has willed the houses to your children.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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