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Obaa Yaa

My husband wants to take a second wife

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 Dear Obaa Yaa,

My husband and I have been living together for four years now. We have everything one needs to live a comfortable life.

The love we shared was envied by lots of people including our close friends.

My only problem with the marriage is that within the four years of our marriage I haven’t been able to give my husband a child.

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Initially, my husband was okay with me not being able to give him any child since we got married.

However, the continuous pressure from my husband’s family has become unbearable hence my husband is forced to do what his family members are requesting him to do.

My husband is forced to take a second wife who will be able to bear him a child or children.

I have no option than to allow him get a second wife.

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However, I am confused as to whether what I’m about to do is the right way to go about the situation.

Please tell me, what should I do?

Faustina Kaneshie.

****

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Dear Faustina,

I’m sorry about the situation you are going through and it’s my deep­est regret that this is happening to you.

First of all, children are gifts from God and therefore not from man. Man is only the passage way for the gifts of God to be seen physically and that is children. Be more prayerful and trust God to see you through these difficult times.

Don’t allow your husband to bring or marry a second wife. Marrying a second wife will still not solve your problem. Tell him that you are not happy about the idea of him marrying another woman.

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Remind him of the promise he made to you through the exchange of vows that he wasn’t going to leave you through difficult times. This issue is an example of one of the difficult times therefore both of you should be backing it up with prayers and you would sail through.

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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