Obaa Yaa
My husband is seeing another lady
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I dated my husband for two years and got married few months ago because I was pregnant and didn’t want to give birth out of wedlock.
At the time I realised I was pregnant, another lady was also pregnant for him but the lady insisted on terminating the pregnancy and because he needed a child, he asked me to keep it and pleaded that he will not cheat on me again.
Now I have a baby girl and the issue is that he hides basically everything about him from me including his phone.
We are basically living like roommates but he provides food for the home. I am still in school so I want to go for family planning till I complete school and get something to do for myself because I don’t want to fully depend on him again.
Please I need an advice whether to go for the family planning or not and should I inform my husband?
Kakyire, Tarkwa.
Dear Kaakyire,
I understand what you are going through and feel your pain. I am pleading with you to be patient when handling issues like this.
Kindly have a discussion with your husband and voice out your frustrations and everything you are going through to him.
Make amends and apologise to each other. Begin this year on a fresh note.
I would advise you to go for the family planning methods in order to complete school without another pregnancy.
Finally, continue to pray and commit your marriage into the hands of God.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
