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Obaa Yaa

My husband is always in the bedroom

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM 30 and he is 45. We have been married for three years now. The problem I have with my husband is that when he is not at work and he’s home, and always in the bedroom.

You can never see my husband in the sitting room chatting with the chil­dren or with me.

And Obaa Yaa, he only tells the children and I that he loves us when he is tipsy or drunk. That is the only time you will see him in a conversation with us.

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Do you believe he really means it when he says he loves us in that mood?

Baaba,

Agona Nyakrom.

*****

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Dear Baaba,

Generally, there are many types of personality in everyone and I hope your husband is an intro­vert. This means he is not the outgo­ing type and wants to keep to himself either reading or listening to music.

And of course, such a person would need something to stimulate him to be open, expressive and nice, and I guess a little alcohol is doing just that.

If he is not abusing the alcohol, then there is nothing much more to worry about. Be loving and let him be the person God has made him.

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Ask the children to go to him any­time he is lonely to share jokes and help them with their homework.

Encourage him to be more com­municative and do not nag about him because that will worsen the problem.

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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