Obaa Yaa
My husband disowns pregnancy
We have been married for seven years and blessed with three children. Two years ago, my husband relocated to Kumasi on postings and he occasionally comes back to the family to spend weekends.
When l informed him that l was pregnant, he asked me of the last time l had my period. After this information, he did not show any sign of annoyance and everything went on smoothly until he left for Kumasi.
Four months into my pregnancy, my husband has become angry under the pretext that since he was in Kumasi per his calculations and not physically present with me, he could not have been responsible for the pregnancy.
He said my pregnancy has confirmed reports he had received from some sources of my association with a certain man in our locality.
He asked that l should pack my belongings from the house for good and leave the children with him.
Despite my explanation that l cannot indulge in extra-marital affairs, he does not want to believe what l tell him.
Can l inform my parents about the current development and the next step to take in order to salvage my reputation?
Ama, Tema.
Dear Ama,
It is unfortunate things have changed in your marriage and a serious allegation is being levelled against you at the time you are pregnant.
From the tone of your letter, your husband has kept the information he had received about you without verifying the truth from you, the wife.
This is a case of mistrust which has emerged and could have been resolved easily by employing the tools of patience, tolerance and being frank in your deliberations.
You have every right to inform your parents who can take this matter up with your husband at their level.
The surest option is to go for a DNA test at the hospital to ascertain the paternity of the child after you have been delivered of the child.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
