Obaa Yaa
Mum insists l marry wealthy young man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been dating over three years now with much progress for which reason we have decided to marry, but my mother is not in favour of this gentleman.
My mother is insisting that l should marry a rich young man instead of my boyfriend. She has gone further to introduce me to her rich friend’s son to make the necessary arrangements for our wedding.
I have told my boyfriend about the latest moves by my mother and he has suggested that we elope together.
Though this plan will take me from my parents as long as l wish, l consider it a great disrespect to them.
Kindly help me out of this problem since l am getting confused.
Adzoa, Accra.
Dear Adzoa,
I am glad you have taken the right decision by writing to this column.
Though children ought to respect their parents and guardians and also seek their advice, there are occasions parents fail to listen to the views of their children before arriving at certain critical decisions they take concerning them.
You may consider eloping from the town and also the reach of your parents the best option, but should something happen to you tomorrow who will come to your aid?
Try to explain your position to some senior members of your family who can champion your decision by holding talks with your parents and help in resolving the problem.
No matter the differences, your parents can never be replaced by any other person, hence the need to resolve the issues and promote peace in the family.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
