Obaa Yaa
Married man provides for my needs
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a third- year student in a tertiary institution and deeply in love with a married man.
This man loves me and has told me he would like to marry me since his marriage is on the verge of collapse.
According to him, there have been repeated misunderstandings between him and his wife so they have agreed to separate for some months to see if conditions will improve.
For the past two years, this man has been disturbing me that he would marry me at all cost.
He kept showering gifts on me and l could not help but succumb to his sexual demands.
When l became pregnant, he impressed on me to abort it because he had not yet severed relations with his wife.
In fact l felt cheated and betrayed to hear this from him.
Despite showering gifts on me l am planning quitting this relationship because l can envisage a bleak future. Can you advise me on the right step to take?
Victoria, Accra.
Dear Victoria,
There are many marriages which are not doing well yet the couples are still staying together. This is to say that there is no successful marriage on earth and it is not easy breaking up marriages despite the difficulties.
Your lover is taking advantage of you and the earlier you break up with him the better it will serve your interest.
His insistence that you should abort the pregnancy should ring a bell in your ears that you have no future so long as you follow this married man.
Why don’t you work hard to become independent and forget about this man who can easily patch up with the wife and things will be normal once again.
Forget the gifts he is showering on you and do not waste your precious time on him.
Concentrate on your studies to complete your programme after which you will get a partner of your choice.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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