Obaa Yaa
This girl is tempting me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
A former girlfriend of a close friend of mine has started making overtures at me. She did not make her intention known to me initially, but said that she would like to prepare meals for me.
With time, her intention became obvious that she would like me to become her boyfriend since my friend had abandoned her for another lady.
“I see you as a nice young man who will be a good husband. Since your friend has decided to abandon me for another lady, l think you are the best person who can take good care of me,” she said.
I was touched by the way she spoke and l paused to think critically about her request. I quickly came to conclusion that this request would not be granted for the underlying reason that she was the ex-girl friend of my best friend.
Secondly, l thought it wise to discuss this issue with my friend who gave me the green light that since there was nothing more than mere friendship that had existed between them, l could go along to marry her and he was ready to support me.
However, having thought about this critically, l have concluded that it would not be prudent on my part to marry this girl, though she has the qualities any man will look for.
Kofi, Accra.
Dear Kofi,
Your letter is interesting and quite enticing, especially the type which is capable of drawing friends into trouble, leaving them permanent enemies.
I wish to commend you for the steps you have taken so far as this matter is concerned. It is good to consider many factors, reason well, look into the future before one decides the type of action to take.
This lady could possess all the qualities under the sun but for the mere fact that she was the former girl friend of your friend automatically disqualifies her.
Your friend would have been angry with you if you had married this lady. Though there was no intimacy between them, it would not have changed matters, especially if his marriage did not work out to his expectation.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
