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Is apology necessary in one’s life?

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Can you apologise for something you did not do for the sake of peace?  This is a vital question on the Facebook wall of Jef Carter Senior.  Days after this blog was posted on his wall, there have been interesting and divergent views from numerous followers of the page. Some did not recognise the need to apologise for something you did not do just for peace to prevail while others felt that in order to allow a sleeping dog to lie peacefully, there is the need to say sorry.

EXCHANGES WITH COLLEAGUE JOURNALIST

I had some exchanges with my colleague journalist and a friend, Doreen Hammond, the current editor of the Mirror newspaper on this particular issue. While I felt that at certain times, situations demanded that one should say sorry even though that person was not the cause of a problem to ensure peace, my sister disagreed and differed with me totally.  Her argument was that she was very accommodative, but that should not mean that she should apologise for what she had not done.  As she put it, “I let a lot of things slide and tolerate a lot but why that? So, I should for example, apologise for assaulting someone when I haven’t”, she asked.  I went further to draw her attention to the fact that she was comparing two different scenarios explaining to her that assault was something physical which even if committed indoors between couples, demanded an arbitration because of the physical injuries involved, and that was different from insulting each other verbally and other mere offences, but my colleague would never budge. Of course, we are all entitled to our opinions and we have to accept it like that.

APOLOGY AND WHAT IT ENTAILS

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Since this topic is so interesting and thought-provoking, I have decided to use my column to discuss into detail, the essence of rendering an apology and what the act of doing that means to people and society in general in order to ginger up divergent opinions and views to advance the course of progress,

Apology in clear terms as explained in the dictionary, is something that you say or write in order to tell someone that you are sorry that you have hurt them or cause trouble to them.  It is, therefore, an act of showing remorse and regretting for something you have done a person, group of people, as well as establishments.  It is not a shame to tell a person you are sorry if you know deep down your heart that you have offended him or her and regret for your action.

APOLOGY REPAIRS RELATIONSHIP

Rendering an apology helps repair relationship by getting people to talk to each other or one another following some misunderstanding and makes them feel comfortable with each other again.  A sincere apology that comes from the heart allows you to know that you are not proud of what you did and, therefore, will not repeat that same behaviour.  It does not matter if we hurt someone intentionally or accidentally, we have to take responsibility and apologise sincerely.  By owning up our mistakes, we have the chance to rebuild trust or validate experiences and heal wounds.  When we refuse to take ownership or responsibility, we ignore the consequences of our actions and lessen the safety of the relationship and ultimately deepen the hurt.

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IS IT IMPORTANT TO SAY SORRY?

One may ask this question; Is it important to say sorry?  The answer is hundred times yes and it is important to do so.  Depending on how much you harmed, hurt or offended the person, it can be very important, recognising though that an apology is not enough because it does not repair the damage or absolve you from the consequences of your action.  However, if you genuinely regret what you did, then saying so to the person you harmed is a good start.  There is the need for one to take responsibility for what he or she did and do what is necessary to make things better.  Saying that you are really sorry, merely shows that, you are for the rest of it.  The fact is, you don’t have to say sorry if you don’t mean it or if you are not prepared to back it up with any meaningful action, otherwise you will defeat the essence of the apology which then becomes meaningless.

APOLOGY IN MARRIAGES

For instance, couples who are courting for marriage, find life interesting or pleasing, forward looking and enjoyable in their relationship with little or no problem to manage because of the intense love and affection for each other.  However, if they enter into real marriage, blessed and sealed through the Marriage Ordinance Act which becomes lawful, there the problem starts at times when they move to their matrimonial homes to start life afresh.  Some go to the extent of insulting and abusing each other, at times more physically, resulting in physical injuries.  As a result of some of these needless infractions, in marriages, you see the bride running for cover at their parents’ abode, forgetting the vows they took ‘For Better for Worse’ in the cause of their marriage.

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In real terms in marriage life, it is during this stage that the couples must realise that they need to apply the essence of apology to resolve their grievances in order to stay intact and for their marriage to flourish.  There is no need for any blame game whatsoever and one of them must sacrifice by saying sorry to the other so that they can move on in their marriage.  It is only in a matter of physical attack on each other that demands an arbitration from external sources.  Even in such cases, they need to recognise their shortcomings and mistakes and say sorry to each other.

It is a fact that, we at times struggle to overcome our pride which is not healthy and the best way to go.  Sometimes, it is very important to express remorse and say sorry for the little thing or infraction to strengthen our relationship with each other or one another.

APOLOGY IN EMPLOYMENT

In the case of employment where an employee goes contrary to the rules of an establishment, he or she must own up to the management of the establishment and apologise sincerely for the infraction, even if he or she is served with a query to answer.  Management must also tamper justice with mercy and accept the apology of the employee if the offence is not grievous and can be managed.

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It is also important for friends and other relations to cultivate the habit of apologising by saying sorry when they offend one another so that peace can prevail.  Taking intransigent positions and actions, can lead to bad situations that may be regretted later.

Yes, like my colleague argued it out, she cannot own up and apologise for something she did not do. She cannot be faulted for saying so.  However, in certain situations which call for peace, if apology will lead to that cause, why can we not say so, to bring about that needed peace.

The Holy Scripture tells us that, sometimes, we might offend or sin against friends and family members and if this happens, Christians are to confess our sins to God and apologise to that person.  Everything we do must be sincere.  A true friend would fix their relationship with others instead of keeping pride and stubbornness in their hearts.  Don’t let guilt linger in your heart.  Go and apologise and make things right.

I will end this piece by quoting from the Holy Bible, Mathew 6:15 which states that, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father in Heaven will not forgive you your sins”.

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 Contact email/WhatsApp of author: ataani20002yahoo.com

  0277753946/0248933366

BY CHARLES NEEQUAYE

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International character of Ghanaman and more

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Ghanaians can be found in every part of the world

The average modern Gold Coaster born and bred in Sikaman is an adventurous creature. Go to any part of the world and you’ll find Ghanaman diligently slugging it out either in the snow or in hot sweltering weather, earning a decent living.

Go to Guinea and see Ghanaman in the garb of a herbalist, curing the sick of various ailments. He makes the Guinean understand that not all diseases are caused by James Lucifer alias Jimmy Satan. On the contrary, most diseases are caused by kooko which can even attack the human nose and turn it upside down.

That kooko is also the cause of poverty and the internal bleeding of personal back-pocket economies. And that kooko can be cured using the chemistry underlying Sikaman herbal medicine which has been blessed by the gods of Larteh.

And before Ghanaman starts dispensing his herbal concoctions, he must attract the passing crowd with some Sıkaman-originated choreography, akin to a combination of adowa and agbadza, such that the dancer can easily dislocate a shoulder and start crying for his mother.

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When the crowd is enough to form a quorum, Ghanaman must perform magic as a side-attraction, and proceed to sell his drugs. The drugs are genuinely made from potent herbs which the Pharmacy Board of Sikaman says it has no confidence in. Believe me, Ghanaian herbalists are practising in neighbouring countries like Guinea, Cote d’Ivoire, Sierra Leone and Benin, while we are discouraging them from practising in Sikaman.

Go to Las Palmas and see Ghanaman as a fisherman. He sails on Korean-owned boats and is forced to eat garlic and raw tuna for radiant health. The garlic is also supposed to protect him against witches. But sometimes, he is not good bedfellows with some Korean crew members, and once in a while a fight breaks out.

The typical Korean is a Kung Fu expert and before displaying a golden dragon data. He must first terrify Ghanaman with a Korean dance which consists of wild arms and leg throwing. But Ghanaman is usually not daunted. Why has he been eating cancer kenkey all years without developing cancer? It mean is a superhuman capable of countering Kun fu side-kicks to the ribs.

Anyhow Ghanaman’s most potent arsenal lies in his fists. If he is a southpaw, it mean left fist is probably insured and can cause damage. When Ghanaman lands a cassava blow and it lands on a Korean chest, it has the effect of a cruise missile. If there is no ceasefire a funeral cannot be ruled out.

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Greenland

Go to Alaska and find Ghanaman there. Greenland, Iceland, Brazil, Argentina, Madagascar, everywhere and you’ll find him. He has become an international citizen and is generally lauded for his hardwork, sincerity and honesty.

However, some bad nuts are also condemned and despised.

The world and all its parts and corners are for the human race, and anyone can choose to live anywhere and earn a decent living so long as he doesn’t misconduct himself or become a social misfit and a law unto himself.

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Sıkaman for instance accepts foreigners, and we are so liberal that people just come in through our borders and we welcome them with the best palmwine in town and goat light soup. Who cares about passports and visas? Our hospitality is, as it were legendary.

So we have Liberians, Nigerians, Sierra Leoneans, Togolese, Europeans, Americans, Scandinavians and Koreans in Sikaman.  And some of them have misinterpreted our overzealous accommodation to mean “foolishness” and are misconducting themselves.

The newspapers carry stories of some unscrupulous Nigerians stealing, defrauding and collaborating with their Sikaman counterparts to rob people. You’ll find some good and law-abiding Liberians around but some other Liberians are in the business of fraud, robbery, money printing, money doubling, anything criminal.

Ghanaian hospitality can no longer be extended to such people. I do not think Ghanaians will be treated kindly either, when they misbehave anywhere in the world. Those who come from outside with the intention of bringing down their evil deeds and to practise them here professionally must be getting ready because Ghanaians are getting fed up with the menace.

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These days, you’ll find strange people following you as soon as you emerge from a bank. If you are not careful, they’ll wrestle your briefcase from you and speed away in a waiting taxi.

Someone was just saying that many foreign criminals are flocking to Ghana because in their countries, they are enable to operate either because they are being looked for by the police for offences committed or fear instant justice at the hands of mobs. Ghanaians, it is said, are humanitarian in dealing with criminals.

Well, in some African countries, a thief who is being chased runs directly to the police station in his own interest and begs the officer at the counter to lock him up. Otherwise he’ll be lynched or be burnt to death. In Ghana, it is the opposite. The thieves run far away from the cop stations.

The criminals must reform and stay peacefully in Sikaman or quit. No court case!

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This article was first published on Saturday September 5, 1998

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The architecture of existence: How we live and die

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​The human condition is defined by two absolute, biological bookends: the commencement of complex cellular animation and its ultimate, irreversible cessation.

For centuries, medicine treated life and death as strictly separate states. Today, modern pathology and molecular biology reveal a more profound truth: the mechanisms that allow us to live are the exact same mechanisms that dictate how we die.

​Understanding this relationship is no longer just a philosophical pursuit. It is a clinical necessity for managing public health in the 21st century.

Part I: How we live – The mechanics of animation

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​At its core, biological life is a continuous, high-stakes battle against entropy (the natural tendency of systems to degrade into disorder). To maintain form, consciousness, and function, the human body relies on three fundamental pillars:

1. Cellular respiration and energy production

​Every second of human life is powered by the conversion of oxygen and glucose into Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP), the universal energy currency of our cells. This process occurs within the mitochondria.

Without a constant supply of ATP, the microscopic pumps that maintain electrical gradients across our cell membranes fail, causing cellular collapse within minutes.

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2. Homeostasis: The balancing act

​To survive, the internal environment of the body must remain incredibly stable, regardless of external chaos. This balancing act, known as homeostasis, regulates:

​Blood pH: Strictly maintained between 7.35 and 7.45.

​Core Temperature: Ideally kept around 37°C (98.6°F).

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​Electrolyte Balance: Precise ratios of sodium, potassium, and calcium that allow nerves to fire and muscles to contract.

​3. The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)

​The ANS acts as the invisible conductor of life, split into two complementary branches:

Part II: How we die – The path of cessation

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​Death is rarely a singular event; it is a progressive biological cascade. Whether caused by old age, chronic illness, or sudden trauma, the final pathways of mortality generally follow a predictable trajectory.

​1. The cellular horizon: Senescence and Apoptosis

​Every time a human cell divides, the protective caps at the ends of its chromosomes-telomeres-shorten. Eventually, telomeres become so depleted that the cell can no longer divide safely. It enters senescence (a state of permanent arrest) or triggers apoptosis (programmed cell death). This gradual, systemic loss of cellular renewal is the underlying engine of aging.

​2. The clinical cascade of somatic death

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​When the body can no longer maintain homeostasis, somatic death (the death of the organism as a whole) begins. This occurs in a distinct sequence:

1

Clinical Death

Zero to four minutes

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The heart stops pumping blood, and respiration ceases. While breathing and circulation have ended, the body’s tissues still contain residual oxygen and cellular energy reserves. At this stage, resuscitation is often still possible.

2

Brain Death (Infarction)

Four to six minutes

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Deprived of fresh oxygenated blood, the brain’s highly sensitive neurons begin to starve. Lacking ATP, the brain cells lose their electrical charge, swell, and begin to burst. Permanent, irreversible neurological damage occurs within minutes.

3

Biological Death

Hours to days

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The organs fail entirely. Without central control or blood flow, individual cells throughout the body consume their final energy reserves. Enzymes that once aided digestion begin to break down the body’s own tissues from the inside out, a process known as autolysis.

Part III: The modern collision of life and death

​In the modern era, the boundary between how we live and how we die has blurred. Historically, humanity died primarily from infectious diseases and acute trauma. Today, global mortality is dominated by non-communicable, chronic lifestyle diseases.

Modern Pathology: How we live (the cause) how we die (the result)

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Cardiovascular disease, chronic stress, poor diet, and lack of sleep keep the sympathetic nervous system hyper-activated, damaging blood vessels .Occlusion of coronary arteries leads to myocardial infarction (heart attack) or ischemic stroke.

Metabolic syndrome over nutrition and physical inactivity overwhelm cellular mitochondria, leading to systemic insulin resistance. Multi-organ failure, chronic kidney disease, and severe vascular complications.

Neurodegenerative Disorders Chronic systemic inflammation and sleep deprivation prevent the brain from clearing metabolic waste. Gradual loss of synaptic connections, leading to dementia and the eventual loss of basic autonomic functions.

Conclusion: The unified theory of health

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​Ultimately, how we live directly shapes the path of how we die. The micro-choices of daily existence-how we manage emotional stress, the quality of our rest, our communal connections, and our nutrition-either preserve the integrity of our homeostatic systems or accelerate their decline.

​True medical advancement is shifting away from merely extending the final, frail stages of biological death. Instead, the focus is turning toward optimising our living years-ensuring that the intricate, beautiful machinery of human animation runs smoothly until its natural, quiet conclusion.

By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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