Features
INFERTILITY STIGMA, A SILENT KILLER
- /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
Warning: Trying to access array offset on false in /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
&description=INFERTILITY STIGMA, A SILENT KILLER', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
- Share
- Tweet /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 72
Warning: Trying to access array offset on false in /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 72
&description=INFERTILITY STIGMA, A SILENT KILLER', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
August 29, 2015 was a joyous day for me, I happily got married. Yes! It was my wedding day with all the glitz, fun and merry. During the ceremony a prayer was said for me for the fruit of the womb.
When it was time for the picture session, a woman whispered to me and said, “Agnes, you are not done yet, make sure a year by now, we attend your baby christening, do you hear me,”
At least this woman should allow me to enjoy the moment of the ceremony without any interference.
So right from the church auditorium pressure started to mount on me. Fast forward, after a year, no sign of pregnancy.
Almost all my friends who got married in 2015 had their babies christening the following year. This reminded me of what the lady whispered on my wedding day. During a church revival, the pastor called women who were married but had no children to approach him for divine intervention.
As a believer I hurriedly got up, there were other women who joined me because they had similar issue (infertile). The man of God prayed for us. My husband and I later decided to seek medical help which we did.
To my surprise in 2017 January I discovered I was pregnant! Oh My God! No words could describe how happy my husband and I were. Because this was a sign of relief from all the hustles and difficulty in explaining to people who kept on asking me, when I was going to have children.
There were those who told me I was aging, therefore needed to give birth and others who advised me to consult a herbalist or a prophet who could fast track things in helping me to conceive.
In my first trimester, I lost the pregnancy, a scan at a hospital showed that I had lost the pregnancy. My world came crushing down, how do I face and answer these people who have been asking me all sort of questions.
In that same year, I lost another pregnancy and I would never forget the anguish.
One afternoon as I went to the canteen for lunch a colleague at office drew a chair and sat beside me. She murmured “Agnes what are you doing, its been some years since you got married, are you not ready to conceive?”.
This colleague did not consider the fact that we were in a public place, therefore someone could hear what she asked. I lost appetite, I just gave her a smile ,got up and left the scene.
At a point in my life, I lost interest in attending social gatherings just to avoid being questioned. Yes! I was tired of being reminded I need to have my own babies. Fed-up of being directed to see herbalists. Tired of being prayed for during church revivals. I kept questioning myself whether being a woman is a mistake, or a crime.
Last year which was my fourth wedding anniversary marked the turning point in my life. I was finally blessed with a bouncy baby girl. On January 18, 2020 at a family gathering, I was told to have a second child, meanwhile my daughter is only 7 months old. Another pressure has set in, but I would not allow anyone to frustrate me. At my own pace I would decide when the next child would arrive. Say no to infertility stigma now.
It sad to note that most couple especially women are under pressure due such problem in marriage which has resulted in many breakdown of marriages.
Have individuals, society and the world at large thought about how such women feel whenever they are questioned or ridiculed on their infertility status?
My husband stood by me and advised that I pay no attention to such people during such trying times. Society has forgotten that “It takes Two to Tango” therefore it is not the sole responsibility of a woman to get pregnant.
Speaking to Dr Hope Quashie Mensah, Gynecologist at the 37 Military Hospital advised women facing infertility not to resort to herbal medicine but to see a doctor for investigation, adding that infertility could be treated.
According to him, some women resort to herbal concoction which leads to serious health implication and end up damaging their kidneys just because they want children and their peace of mind.
“You do not have to kill yourself because you think you cannot have children, there is hope in every situation, do not accept the pressure from society but keep on seeing your health professionals and with God all things are possible,” he said
In our Africansociety we have attached too much importance on children in marriage that, every couple is expected to have children by all means. But elsewhere, people marry and they decide whether to have children or not.
Here, normally the pressure from in-laws is usually mounted on the womanas it mostly assumed that it’s the sole responsibility of the woman to produce children.
When people marry within the first three months with continuoussexual intercourse then couples should be able to expect their first child that is if there is no reproductive health problem with any of them.
Dr Mensah said, research indicates that 60 per cent of infertility cases are due to male infertility and not only women were the cause, “In fact it is never so, we have noticed that most of the infertility issues are men factors, up to 60 per cent men,”
Being a victim of infertility stigma I think it is time the world take up the challenge, break infertility stigma and help couples who are struggling with infertility issues.
Training programs on infertility should be championed by leaders in the society to educate members especially men, that infertility issues are not only women related. Also to encourage women not to accept the fact that they could not conceive but boldly say no to infertility stigma that has become a canker.
As women, let us support our fellow women who might be going through infertility issues, because most of the infertility stigma are perpetuated by women. Women ridicule their own sisters, aunties, sister in laws for not being able to conceive.
Religious leaders should also know that not all infertility cases are spiritual, therefore the need to advise infertile couples to seek medical attention. Husbands should not join others to ridicule their wives but rather support them to overcome the situation. Family members should all support the call against infertility stigma. Couples with such issues should seek early medical treatment or advice. Government should also roll outprogrammes and interventions that would educate and deal with infertility related issues particularly in reducing the high cost of treatment.
Media organisations should sieve advertisements that project herbal concoctions which claim to cure infertility. Infertility stigma is so painful that it kills ones soul, body and mind silently. Infertility stigma is a silent killer, therefore let us join hands in fighting it.
By AGNES OPOKU SARPONG
Features
This sanitation issue!
Some things do not change in this country. The rains shall fall in May, and June and even July. That is out of our control. It is an act of God and he decides how often and the intensity. Who are we to question God?
However, there is something man-made that is gradually becoming something that is also not changing and it is worrying. A week ago the President initiated a national clean up campaign to address the issue of sanitation in the country, especially in Accra.
Citizens enthusiastically got involved and engaged in cleaning their environment and other places but afterwards, the issue that is becoming a permanent feature resisting change, reared its ugly head again.
The rubbish and the silt that were dug out of the drains, were heaped on the shoulders of the drains and left there. Any little rain will render the whole effort futile because the rubbish and silt will be washed right back into the drains.
This is what is not changing in the country and the various assemblies must ensure that this issue is dealt with and must become a thing of the past.
There is the need to engage the citizenry across board, in connection with mindset change, as far as sanitation is concerned. At this juncture, I must acknowledge the thoughtful initiative of the current crop of Abenfo (i.e. students both present and past) of SUTESCO of Suhum, with support of the school administration for decorating the area under the overpass on the Accra Kumasi highway, near the school, with fascinating paintings. This is an example worthy of emulation and makes me proud as one of the Abenfo.
An example not worthy of emulation is an eyesore currently existing behind a cemetery along the Atta Mills link as you branch left, off the main Accra-Cape Coast road at Old barrier and head towards the beach through Aplaku, Bortianor, Oshiyie, Korobite through to Tuba and beyond.
The drain along the walls of the cemetery also lying astride the road, is choked with silt and rubbish. This has created a problem near the end of the cemetery wall just before you enter Bortianor.
Water has accumulated at that point, creating potholes and also gradually creating a channel across the road, creating a nightmare for motorists using that route. This route is the main link between parts of Kasoa and the Accra – Cape Coast road and whenever it rains and the Atala stretch of the road is blocked, that is the route most motorists from Kasoa uses.
It is also the route used by tourists going to the beaches along the sea of the towns stretching from Bortianor to Kokrobite and so it does not speak well of us, as a nation at all.
A few days ago, I had to pass through Tema Station, the place where a major clean up exercise was conducted just fews days ago and it was very shocking to see the level of wanton littering that had taken place.
One begins to wonder if this whole exercise initiated by the President was worth it. People just do not care and are not willing to change their attitude towards sanitation.
We cannot continue like this and to win this battle against insanitary conditions in our environment, the NCCE must be resourced to embark on a serious educational drive. The MMDCEs must also be held accountable for sanitation lapses in their administrative areas, by making sanitation part of their KPIs among other innovative policies. This is one of the surest ways to overcome this sanitation challenge confronting us. God bless.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
Features
Disqualified — Part 1
THE discussion lasted only ten minutes. Mr Philip Sampson, Eunice’s father, had asked to see him, and he was led to the sitting room for the first time. Mr Sampson indicated that he should sit down.
‘Yes, Kakraba. I know that you have been, er, friends with Eunice for some months now, and naturally, as her father, I thought it would be important to meet you, and to reach an understanding with you on, er, some basic issues. So, I hear you are a graduate in building technology. Now, tell me about what you do’.
‘Okay. I worked with the Electricity Company for two years after National Service. During that time I interacted with some lawyers and land surveyors on our project sites, so I suggested to some of them that we take some dilapidated buildings in some parts of Accra, rehabilitate them and find new owners. Soon after starting that I got a job as Project Manager with a group of development agencies who are executing projects in the Northern Region, so I have been balancing the two positions’.
‘I see. That sounds like a bold step. So is it going well, financially?’
‘Well, sir, I absolutely enjoy what I’m doing now. Financially, I would only say that I am a work in progress. A lot of what I’m doing now involves some risk taking, as it involves trust issues with land and property owners.
I am partnering with prominent lawyers and land surveyors, so I am not taking any serious risks. So currently I am doing okay financially, but it will take me some time before I reach the level where I can say I am comfortable financially.’
‘Okay. Now tell me about your parents’.
‘My father was an Agricultural Extension Officer, so we spent some time at several locations with him. He is now enjoying his retirement. And my mother is a retired nurse. I have three elder sisters, all married’.
‘So you live with your parents?’
‘Yes and no. My dad built his home on one acre at Pokuase, so he gave me one plot, and I have done a three-bedroom house, where I live’.
‘Okay, fine. Thanks for the answers. You see, in addition to my position socially, I spent many years in the diplomatic service, so I’m sure you will understand that I need to ensure that my kids, especially my daughters, maintain suitable relationships. For now I think it is fine that you and Eunice are friends. I’m sure you understand what I mean’.
‘Yes sir. I understand perfectly well.’
‘Great, okay, that would be all.’
Kakraba stood up, bowed and said thank you to Mr Sampson, and walked to the garden where his girlfriend Eunice, her mother Mrs Elaine Sampson and her two elder sisters, Yvonne and Emma, were seated, busily discussing some dresses being offered for sale online.
‘So,’ Mrs Elaine asked him, ‘you and Daddy had a good discussion?’
‘Yes, Ma. We certainly did. I really appreciate Dad for the discussion. It was really good.’
‘Great. Although he has met you here on quite a number of occasions, I think it is good that you have met for a chat.’
‘Yes indeed, Ma, and I really appreciate it. So Eunice, I will be on my way. I will call.’
Eunice led him to his car, and after driving off he exhaled and shook his head. Although he had long concluded that Eunice’s family were so snobbish that a future relationship with her would be problematic, this discussion, or was it interrogation, had virtually cancelled any likelihood.
Mr Sampson just told him, in no uncertain terms, that the Sampson family was so prominent and socially connected that a union between his daughter and him was undesirable.
He had a good relationship with Eunice. They shared some beautiful moments together, and often went out to entertainment joints, often with her three friends Marian, Patricia and Amanda. But Kakraba was often uncomfortable with their preferences.
Eunice regularly spoke about her family’s experiences during her father’s postings in Europe and Asia, and her three friends were always discussing the latest fashion trends, always noting the importance of placing themselves among the best-dressed ladies in town.
Eunice, her mother and siblings had indicated in several ways that he did not quite fit into their social standing. They had only said a mild ‘thank you’ when he brought them a goat or sheep and a generous amount of foodstuffs from the north every month.
But Kakraba did not really take it to heart, because they were quite inexpensive up north. Moreover, he always went to the food market and arranged with the truck drivers for a big package which was picked up by his buddy Paa John and delivered to his family and a few others, including the Sampsons.
By Ekow de Heer




