Obaa Yaa
I want to propose to him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I recently met this handsome and charming gentleman when I visited a particular church in Cape Coast. Throughout the service, my attention went on this guy who I perceived to be an active member of the church.
I had no idea why every movement he made caught my attention. And the fact that he was not wearing a ring suggested to me that he was single.
At the end of the service, the pastor asked all new visitors to stand up to be welcomed by the congregation so I joined the many others that had come for the first time.
And once again, this guy led the members that came to welcome us. The moment he said welcome to church my sister, his nice and composed voice sent shivers down my spine.
Fast forwarding, I have known this guy for some time now and we have become very close friends. I am hoping that he would one day express interest in me.
But when that day would come is what I don’t know now. As a single guy and very friendly, affable and attractive, I fear a daring girl feeling the same way about him could do the unthinkable of expressing her feelings for him.
I am thinking about asking his mind about me but I fear if it does not work, it could ruin our friendship. I need help please.
Micheline, Cape Coast
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Dear Micheline,
This is an interesting story and I must say that it is normal for a young lady like you to have feelings for a man you find attractive. Love is actually a beautiful thing but it is sad if you cannot express it.
The guy would not know you have feelings for him if you do not tell him about it. I always advise people to always be open and approach people when they feel something for them or have a problem with them.
If you have feelings for him, approach him and express it to him. Do not be shy. Feel free and say whatever is on your heart to him.
If he turns you down, do not feel bad or hate him for that; just take it easy and accept his decision in good faith.
I wish you all the best dear, stay blessed.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
