Obaa Yaa
I have been disrespected, manipulated
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WHAT I’m going through currently isn’t what I anticipated when I agreed to marry my husband. I feel disrespected in my marriage and somehow manipulated.
From the beginning, he made things look easy. He made me feel like I was in a relationship with a man every woman could dream of. He was caring and simply wonderful, but along the line, I discovered that he was a gay.
When I confronted him, he told me it was something he used to do at the Senior High School but has turned a new leaf.
He made me believe that he had stopped, so I agreed to let go and let peace rein.
To my surprise, my husband brought these gays to our home, and when I confronted him, he told me he was finding it difficult to stop because he was addicted to it.
Obaa Yaa, I want to help my husband to stop this heinous act. How do I go about it?
Shika, Somanya.
Dear Shika,
I AM really sorry you are going through this. Finding out that your husband is a gay can be painful and overwhelming, especially in marriage.
Sexual orientation is not a habit or phase someone can switch off easily.
Have an honest and calm conversation with him; admonish him about the effect of sleeping with men.
Consider professional counselling and pray for him because some cases are spiritual.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
