Obaa Yaa
My husband’s best friend is trying my patience
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am lady of 20 years in a relationship with a 23 year-old guy. .
We love each other and are in a serious relationship that will probably lead to marriage.
I am afraid my family may not allow us to tie the knot when we are ready because gone were the days, the boy was known to be a notorious.
Even though I have seen a complete change in his life, I am still afraid.
When I told him about my fears, he told me that the name Saul was changed to Paul and for that matter I don’t have to be afraid.
I don’t want to loose him, kindly advice me on what to do.
Esinam, Keta.
Dear Esinam,
No parent would want her daughter to get married to a notorious person. If your boy has once been notorious and he says he has turned a new leaf, just give him some time to prove himself if it was just by words or actions.
For the time being, why not introduce him to your parents as your friend. That way you could be able to gather impressions your parents have about him.
It would also give you a definite opportunity to know if they would accept him in future if he has indeed changed.
Meanwhile do not get too involved because you might later be disappointed.
Do not also forget that he might be pretending to have changed just to win your love.
Obaa Yaa,
Our rent is due and my husband wants us to move into a house I’ve built with my own money and I said no, saying that, “That’s not the plan I have for the building. We can’t move in.”
My plan has always been to rent it out. The income would give me some sort of stability. The moment I said that, he became furious. He started calling me selfish, disrespectful, and all kinds of names. Now he is threatening divorce because I refused to move into the house I built alone. Kindly read my story and tell me if I’m wrong to say no to him.
Baaba, Mankesim.
Dear Baaba,
You are not wrong for saying no, but this situation isn’t really about right or wrong. It’s about priorities, communication, and how both of you can handle pressure as couple.
Your situation makes sense. You are the owner of the house.
Your husband is reacting from stress. If your rent is due and housing becomes uncertain, he may see your house as immediate solution. That doesn’t justify the insults or threats.
Calling you names and threating divorce is not a healthy response. It shift the issue from problem-solving to emotional pressure.
