Obaa Yaa
I can’t forget the orgasms
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 42-year old married woman and I am haunted by my past. I always think about the boyfriend I had when I was 25 years old and how he turned my life around.
In fact, he showed me what it means to get an orgasm, and I will never forget the enjoyment.
We could, however, not get married because he travelled to the United States (US) leaving me behind, but I tell you for sure that I would not hesitate at all if he comes back today and asks me to have sex with him.
Since I got married, my husband has not been able to give me orgasm and anytime I complain, he ignores me and downplays all the efforts I have made to get him to up his game.
I am very much confused and afraid to do anything outside of marriage because I love my husband, but that is the only problem we have.
My worry now is how to erase him from my mind until I see him personally.
Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Becky O. S.
Accra
Dear Becky,
YOU are currently married and I will advise you to control your feelings no matter the feelings for your ex-boyfriend.
In as much as you have a thrill for your past, try to sit your husband down and discuss your sex life.
Let him know how you want it and how he should go about it to make you happy.
I think you can safely rely on the fact that time wears off memories.
You may not be able to erase the sweet memories immediately, but with time, you’ll get over it.
Meanwhile, stop fantasising about the guy and think about more useful things that would help you in life.
After all, life isn’t only about sex and orgasms.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
