Obaa Yaa
I can’t forget the orgasms
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 42-year old married woman and I am haunted by my past. I always think about the boyfriend I had when I was 25 years old and how he turned my life around.
In fact, he showed me what it means to get an orgasm, and I will never forget the enjoyment.
We could, however, not get married because he travelled to the United States (US) leaving me behind, but I tell you for sure that I would not hesitate at all if he comes back today and asks me to have sex with him.
Since I got married, my husband has not been able to give me orgasm and anytime I complain, he ignores me and downplays all the efforts I have made to get him to up his game.
I am very much confused and afraid to do anything outside of marriage because I love my husband, but that is the only problem we have.
My worry now is how to erase him from my mind until I see him personally.
Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Becky O. S.
Accra
Dear Becky,
YOU are currently married and I will advise you to control your feelings no matter the feelings for your ex-boyfriend.
In as much as you have a thrill for your past, try to sit your husband down and discuss your sex life.
Let him know how you want it and how he should go about it to make you happy.
I think you can safely rely on the fact that time wears off memories.
You may not be able to erase the sweet memories immediately, but with time, you’ll get over it.
Meanwhile, stop fantasising about the guy and think about more useful things that would help you in life.
After all, life isn’t only about sex and orgasms.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
