Obaa Yaa
She wants to come back
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Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 and in my second year in a tertiary institution. Back in the second cycle institution, I fell in love with a young lady who I trusted so much. We did everything love-birds would do, exchange gifts, cards etc.
After completion, she has been showing strange signs indicating that she loves me no more. Anytime I call her on the telephone, she will say nothing but rather allow me to talk and talk and talk. She’ll say absolutely nothing.
As things were getting out of hand, I wrote to her but she never replied, so I decided to break up with her.
A few months later, I came into contact with this young lady, who for some time now has shown great interest in me. She visits me at home, even before she goes to school.
I have also developed some interest in her and now we do everything together.
But recently, my former girlfriend wrote to me and apologised for her behaviour.
She says she is sorry about everything; she even wants me to visit her in her house, something she kicked against previously.
Obaa Yaa, apparently, my former girlfriend wants a comeback and I still love her, but I can’t afford to lose my new girlfriend.
Please advise me.
Jojo,
Pokuase
****.
Dear Jojo,
IT should be easy for you to choose between someone who is loyal to you and someone who isn’t. But ultimately, a decision on this will depend solely on you.
It would depend on how far you’ve gone with the new girl and whether or not you’ve promised her marriage.
As for the old girl, beware of her. Kojo don’t buy the idea of someone going elsewhere for reasons known to her alone and come back to beg. You should be more concerned about her coming back into your life after disappearing.
If Obaa Yaa is to advise you on who to choose between the two, it will certainly be the new girlfriend.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
