Obaa Yaa
She wants to come back
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 and in my second year in a tertiary institution. Back in the second cycle institution, I fell in love with a young lady who I trusted so much. We did everything love-birds would do, exchange gifts, cards etc.
After completion, she has been showing strange signs indicating that she loves me no more. Anytime I call her on the telephone, she will say nothing but rather allow me to talk and talk and talk. She’ll say absolutely nothing.
As things were getting out of hand, I wrote to her but she never replied, so I decided to break up with her.
A few months later, I came into contact with this young lady, who for some time now has shown great interest in me. She visits me at home, even before she goes to school.
I have also developed some interest in her and now we do everything together.
But recently, my former girlfriend wrote to me and apologised for her behaviour.
She says she is sorry about everything; she even wants me to visit her in her house, something she kicked against previously.
Obaa Yaa, apparently, my former girlfriend wants a comeback and I still love her, but I can’t afford to lose my new girlfriend.
Please advise me.
Jojo,
Pokuase
****.
Dear Jojo,
IT should be easy for you to choose between someone who is loyal to you and someone who isn’t. But ultimately, a decision on this will depend solely on you.
It would depend on how far you’ve gone with the new girl and whether or not you’ve promised her marriage.
As for the old girl, beware of her. Kojo don’t buy the idea of someone going elsewhere for reasons known to her alone and come back to beg. You should be more concerned about her coming back into your life after disappearing.
If Obaa Yaa is to advise you on who to choose between the two, it will certainly be the new girlfriend.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.
However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.
Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.
According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.
Thomas, Wa.
Dear Thomas,
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.
Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.
At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.
A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.
If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.
I wish you all the best.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
