Obaa Yaa
I can’t forget the orgasms
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 42-year old married woman and I am haunted by my past. I always think about the boyfriend I had when I was 25 years old and how he turned my life around.
In fact, he showed me what it means to get an orgasm, and I will never forget the enjoyment.
We could, however, not get married because he travelled to the United States (US) leaving me behind, but I tell you for sure that I would not hesitate at all if he comes back today and asks me to have sex with him.
Since I got married, my husband has not been able to give me orgasm and anytime I complain, he ignores me and downplays all the efforts I have made to get him to up his game.
I am very much confused and afraid to do anything outside of marriage because I love my husband, but that is the only problem we have.
My worry now is how to erase him from my mind until I see him personally.
Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Becky O. S.
Accra
Dear Becky,
YOU are currently married and I will advise you to control your feelings no matter the feelings for your ex-boyfriend.
In as much as you have a thrill for your past, try to sit your husband down and discuss your sex life.
Let him know how you want it and how he should go about it to make you happy.
I think you can safely rely on the fact that time wears off memories.
You may not be able to erase the sweet memories immediately, but with time, you’ll get over it.
Meanwhile, stop fantasising about the guy and think about more useful things that would help you in life.
After all, life isn’t only about sex and orgasms.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.
It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.
But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.
I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?
Kersi,
Osu.
Dear Kersi,
Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.
They also get stigmatised by society.
It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.
Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.
I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.
They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.
I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am very angry with my landlord. He impregnated my niece and when I took the matter up, he has asked us to leave his house.
He has refused to pay for her upkeep and I have also refused to pay for the rest of the rent for the last year of my agreement with him.
I do not intend leaving my current accommodation. My landlord has threatened to kill me. My wife is also putting pressure on me that we should leave. What should I do?
A.B,
Bogoso.
Dear A.B
If your landlord has impregnated your niece then he must be made to bear the financial responsibility that comes with it.
Seek legal advice on how he should care for your niece and at the same time work out an accommodation arrangement since your agreement with him has not yet expired.
I hope your landlord would reason with you and make it possible for you to stay there. However, if he does not, you will need to report his threat of death to the police and begin to look for alternative accommodation.
But whether the accommodation issue is sorted or not, your landlord must take care of that pregnancy and child to be born even if it means taking him to court.
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