Obaa Yaa
I Am Under House Arrest
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY girlfriend visited me a fortnight ago, and when it was time for her to leave, I ordered an Uber ride to take her home.
A distance that should have taken her about 30 minutes lasted for almost an hour and a half.
I detected this when I called the landline phone at home to check if she had arrived. Her sisters told me that she had gone to my place.
I got annoyed and went to the house to express my displeasure about it.
Just around the time, a guy pulled up at the house and called her by a nickname.
She was so confused that she did not know what to do. The guy left without uttering a word. Up till now, she has not explained what happened.
Greetings,
Is she playing a double game?
Robert, Kumasi.
Dear Robert,
I THINK you deserve an explanation, and the earlier you ask for one, the better. She must be hiding something from you, and there are two things that you can do.
First, you can confront her and demand an explanation. That might, however, lead to an impasse, because she might flare up and refuse to talk.
Secondly, you can just keep your cool and monitor her movements discreetly. If she is up to something, you’ll definitely find out.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WHAT I’m going through currently isn’t what I anticipated when I agreed to marry my husband. I feel disrespected in my marriage and somehow manipulated.
From the beginning, he made things look easy. He made me feel like I was in a relationship with a man every woman could dream of. He was caring and simply wonderful, but along the line, I discovered that he was a gay.
When I confronted him, he told me it was something he used to do at the Senior High School but has turned a new leaf.
He made me believe that he had stopped, so I agreed to let go and let peace rein.
To my surprise, my husband brought these gays to our home, and when I confronted him, he told me he was finding it difficult to stop because he was addicted to it.
Obaa Yaa, I want to help my husband to stop this heinous act. How do I go about it?
Shika, Somanya.
Dear Shika,
I AM really sorry you are going through this. Finding out that your husband is a gay can be painful and overwhelming, especially in marriage.
Sexual orientation is not a habit or phase someone can switch off easily.
Have an honest and calm conversation with him; admonish him about the effect of sleeping with men.
Consider professional counselling and pray for him because some cases are spiritual.
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