Features
Borla man —Part Four
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After a couple of days, Martin had finished breakfast and was about to leave, when his mother motioned to him to wait.
“Martin, I came here from Koforidua three days ago, not because I have nothing to do at home, but because your father and I thought we should find out how you and Sarah are doing. Yet since I’ve been here, you’ve not sat down with me for even fifteen minutes.”
“Mama, I’m getting late for work. Can’t this wait till when I get back in the evening?”
“When will you come back this evening? And in what state will you be? What’s happening to you, Martin? Where do you go after work every evening?”
“Mama,” he said as he moved to the door, “I’m sorry I have to leave. Moreover, I’m not a boy anymore. I’m quite capable of managing my affairs.”
But his mother blocked the door.
“If you are capable of managing your own affairs, why did you call to make all those complaints about Sarah? Since I’ve been here, I’ve noticed that the place is always clean, there’s always good food available. She washes your clothes and even irons them. And what’s your response? You’ve turned yourself into a ghost, leaving home first thing in the morning and coming home late, every day. All those tales you told us about Sarah, they have turned out to be lies. Listen, you either change this stupid lifestyle, or we will force you to change.”
“What will you do, Mama, beat me up?”
His Mama surprised him with a big, nasty slap, nearly flooring him. Very angry, he picked his briefcase and went out.
He came home very late as usual, ate, and dropped off to sleep. The following morning he confronted me as I was preparing his breakfast.
“Sarah, what nonsense have you been telling my mother? If you can’t keep your mouth shut, then it’s best you go to your parents. After all, even though our parents gave their brief chat, the elderly lady went to her room.”
“So what’s happening?” she asked. “Has there been any improvement since the old lady has been here?”
“No. Things have gotten worse. Apparently, he called her and made all kinds of allegations against me. And she’s found out the truth. But you know, he’s not paid her any attention. He’s not sat down with her for five minutes. This morning he was quite rude to her, and she slapped him.”
“Oh dear. And she’s leaving today?”
“Yes. I’ve asked her to come with us and drop at the station.”
“I don’t believe this. Martin is not dropping her at the bus station? Sarah, where did you pick this guy from? If he can do this to his mum, then you had better leave before things get really bad.”
“His mum says she and his dad will go and apologise to my parents, and then I can leave. I have no regrets whatsoever. By the way, what did Paul Allotey say?”
“Basically, he liked you the moment he saw you. He wished you weren’t married. If you were single, he would have done everything to grab you.”
“Life’s like that, isn’t it? Whilst someone is treating you like garbage, someone else is wishing he could have you. He is quite a guy. But aren’t you hitting it off with him already?”
“He’s a very nice guy. I certainly like him. But you deserve him, so let’s see if we could make something happen.”
An hour later, I sent the following note to Martin: “Hi, this is to inform you I walked back with him, and he begged his mum to come back. Very reluctantly, she came down, and Martin picked up her suitcase.”
“Okay Mama,” I said. “I will see you at the house shortly.” But he held me again.
“Sarah, I need to have a word with you. Please wait a minute.” I waited as he led his mother to the car, placed the suitcase in the boot, and came back.
“Sarah, I’ve been very foolish. Please forgive me. I need you very badly. I, I’m in trouble.” He walked with me to Paul’s car.
“Hi, Dinah and Mr Allotey, please forgive me, I need to have a little discussion with my wife. Please.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” Paul said. “Sarah, let’s do it another time.”
Unwillingly, he followed me to her room. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she heard him out.
“Ei Martin, you see what your arrogance has gotten you. You prefer a prostitute to this beautiful girl? Let’s go to the police now. Twenty thousand cedis. Goodness! I’m calling your father, then we’ll go to the police.”
At the police station, we were handed over to Inspector Beatrice Addy who, surprisingly, listened patiently to Martin.
“Okay,” she said. “Martin, you are fortunate that your wife and your mother are standing by you even though you were disloyal to them. I will get together with my colleagues, and hopefully we can get at least some of your money for you. It appears that the lady is a fraudster, in addition to being a prostitute. So our team will locate her, and I believe you will recover some of your money. I am very glad that you have come back together with your family. I hope this unfortunate incident will make the family stronger.”
Dinah called soon after we returned from the police station.
“Okay, what’s the news?”
“He got into a problem with a prostitute he’s been going out with. She stole twenty thousand cedis from him. Now the scales seem to have fallen from his eyes.”
“Oh dear, oh dear. You can’t leave now then. Hang on a bit. Give him a chance. But don’t compromise on going to school.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do. But I will insist that he makes changes immediately. No more hanging around with the boys after work, no more getting drunk every day. And I hope after the experience with the prostitute, he will keep clear of girls. Actually, from the signs we are seeing now, I think he is already a changed person.”
“Sarah, that girl, I don’t know what she did to me. I just, she seemed to control me.”
“You said you are in trouble. What has happened?”
“Immediately I get home, your father and I will go to her parents and apologise to them, then I will personally come back and take her home. I hope you understand the implications of the behaviour you are putting up. You are not only rejecting Sarah, you are rejecting your parents. You can go away. Sarah will take me to the Accra station.”
To my great surprise, he left.
Dinah came in just when I came out of the bathroom. She greeted Martin’s mother and sank into the sofa.
Paul stopped his car, and I carried the old lady’s suitcase in. We drove off to the station, and I led her to buy the ticket. I hugged her warmly, and she boarded the bus. As I was walking to the car, I saw Martin, looking as if he had been run down by a car, rushing towards me.
“Sarah! Please Sarah, where is she?” I pointed in the direction of the bus, and moved forward. But he held me.
“Please, don’t go away. I need your help. There’s something we need to discuss. Please.”
“She defrauded me. She asked me for some money when I dropped her yesterday. I took out my cheque book to sign out one thousand cedis, but she suggested that I simply sign it so that she filled in the details later. A short while ago I saw a message on my phone that twenty thousand cedis had been withdrawn by the girl.”
“Martin, I told you that the girl is a prostitute. She was waiting for the right moment to strike. Listen, I can’t handle this alone. We can’t make too much noise about it, but it is certainly a criminal case. Let’s talk to your mum. She will scold you, but she’s your mother.”
“Have you had the chance to speak with him?”
“No. His mother insisted that we make a report to the police. We came back some fifteen minutes ago. He just left for the office. He sounds really apologetic, but I won’t assume anything now. By the way, how did lunch go?”
“Very well. He dropped me at home. He’s picking me up at six.”
“You and the Borla Man are doing rather well, aren’t you?”
“Yes. The only problem I had was you. He has a soft spot for you, but now that you and Martin are sorting things out, I’m going all out.”
Martin came home at five forty-five. He hugged me and asked whether supper was ready.
“The stew is ready,” I replied. “I was about to boil some yam.”
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Confronting newborn abandonment in Ghana: When a cry for help is heard in a dustbin – Part 2
The root causes: It is never just one reason
My years of counselling at CPAC show me abandonment is rarely an act of malice. It is the tragic endpoint of seven overwhelming distresses:
1. Severe maternal mental illness —The hidden emergency
a) Clinical Postpartum Depression (PPD): This is far beyond “baby blues.” It is a severe mood disorder that can appear weeks to months after birth. Due to a massive drop in hormones, extreme sleep deprivation, and emotional exhaustion, the mother feels deep sadness, worthlessness, and complete emotional numbness towards her baby. Picture: A new mother sits by her bed all day, staring blankly. Her baby cries for hours, but she cannot lift her hands to carry the baby. She whispers, “This baby would be better off without me.” She does not hate the baby; she feels she has completely failed as a mother.
b) Peripartum Psychosis (Postpartum Psychosis): This is a psychiatric emergency. Rare but extremely dangerous, appearing suddenly within the first 2-3 weeks after delivery. The mother completely loses touch with reality. She hears commanding voices telling her to abandon the baby, or believes the baby is possessed by an evil spirit or is a “spirit child” who will bring a curse. Picture: A mother genuinely believes she heard a voice saying, “Leave this child at the crossroads at midnight or your family will die.” She abandons the baby not out of hatred, but because her broken mind believes she is obeying a higher spiritual order to save her family.
c) Pre-existing untreated Schizophrenia: This is a chronic, severe mental disorder that existed before the pregnancy. The stress of pregnancy and labour shatters her fragile coping. She suffers from paranoid delusions — believing people want to poison her and the baby — flat affect (zero facial expression), and grossly disorganised thinking, making it impossible to plan how to feed or clean a baby. Picture: A young woman whose family called her illness “spiritual attack” instead of taking her for medication wanders away after delivery, completely forgetting she even gave birth, leaving the infant behind.
2. Extreme socio-economic deprivation: For many girls in some parts of Ghana such as Kasoa, Madina, or Bekwai, poverty is not a statistic; it is a daily panic. No money for antenatal care, no money for hospital delivery, no money for baby diapers or formula. When a mother cannot feed herself, the thought of feeding another mouth feels impossible. Some mothers say, “I left her where someone richer would find her, because I could not watch her starve to death in my hands.” It is a distorted act of survival.
3. Intense societal stigma and shame: In Ghana, pregnancy outside marriage, teenage pregnancy, or pregnancy from rape can bring extreme family rejection. The girl is called “spoilt,” beaten, banned from church, or sacked from school. The fear of bringing shame to the family name is heavier than the fear of police. So she hides the pregnancy for 9 months, delivers alone, and abandons in secret to protect her family’s “honour.”
4. Paternal abandonment — The Man Who Ran Away: Behind almost every abandoned baby is a man who vanished. He says, “It is not mine,” or “Abort it,” and switches off his phone. The mother is left utterly isolated — no emotional, financial, or social support. She is criminalised alone, but the abandonment started with him. Psychological research shows paternal denial is one of the strongest predictors of maternal panic and newborn abandonment.
5. Substance abuse disorders: Alcohol, tramadol, and other drug addiction impair the brain’s executive functioning — the ability to plan, judge consequences, and process emotions. A mother struggling with addiction may give birth in a highly intoxicated or withdrawal state, unable to comprehend the needs of the newborn, leading to neglect and eventual abandonment.
6. The spirit child cultural phenomenon and superstition: In some remote pockets of Northern Ghana and even in few parts of Central and Ashanti regions, public health research shows babies born with congenital deformities, severe disabilities, or whose mothers die in childbirth are branded as “spirit children” or cursed. In extreme instances, families, under cultural pressure, mandate that such babies be exposed or abandoned at shrines or bushes. This is not mental illness, but a harmful cultural belief system that still kills.
The invisible wounds
On the baby: Risk of death from hypothermia, sepsis, and infection. Survivors suffer Anaclitic Depression and Failure to Thrive due to lack of touch. As adults, they battle Reactive Attachment Disorder, chronic mistrust, and identity crisis — “Why did my mother leave me in a dustbin?”
On the mother: Lifelong hidden grief, intense guilt, chronic PTSD, depression, and elevated suicide risk. A prison cell does not heal this.
On the nation: Overburdened orphanages like Osu Children’s Home, draining health budgets, and overworked Social Welfare officers.
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“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; no one seeks God. But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ, to all who believe. For there is no difference; – Rom. 3:10, 21-22. (NIV)
Introduction
Dictionaries define righteousness as “behavior that is morally justifiable or right.” Such behavior is characterized by accepted standards of morality, justice, virtue, or uprightness. The Bible’s standard of human righteousness is God’s own perfection in every attribute, every attitude, every behavior, and every word. Thus, God’s laws, as given in the Bible, both describe His own character and constitute the plumb line by which He measures human righteousness.
The bad news is that true and perfect righteousness is not possible for man to attain on his own; the standard is simply too high. The good news is that true righteousness is possible for mankind, but only through the cleansing of sin by Jesus Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We have no ability to achieve righteousness in and of ourselves. But Christians possess the righteousness of Christ, because “ For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21. This is an amazing truth. On the cross, Jesus exchanged our sin for His perfect righteousness so that we can one day stand before God and He will see not our sin, but the holy righteousness of the Lord Jesus.
Establishing our hearts in righteousness
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” – Proverbs 4:23
According to the above verse in Proverbs, our heart is the source of our life. Our life flows from our heart. The Holy Spirit resides in the spirit of the born again Christian. So there is a strong influence of the Holy Spirit in the heart of the new-born Christian. But our heart is also comprised of our soul. As Christians we can choose to focus our soul on the Lord, or on evil things. If we focus on corrupt, immoral, and evil things our heart will be affected detrimentally. It will cause our heart to be crooked or wicked, instead of straight or righteous. So the Scripture says to keep, or guard, our heart. It is wise to protect our heart as what we allow to dominate our heart will inevitably become the fruit, or influence the outcome, of our lives.
One way to approach life is to continually ask the question, “How will this decision or action affect my heart?” Everything we do, every thought we entertain, everything we watch, read, or listen to, shapes our heart. Therefore, the future prosperity of our life will flow from how well we care for our heart.
Think of everything you do, every moment of time, as a seed. We have been given responsibility for choosing which seeds to plant in our heart. What will you grow in the garden of your heart? What seeds will you choose? Our heart is our garden, and our life is the fruit of our garden. So next time you are tempted to dwell on a bad thought, think, “Do I want this seed to grow and manifest in my life?” Next time you are tempted to indulge in a sinful action ask yourself, “Do I want the extension, or fruit, of this sinful action to be what I am known for?”
God gives us the freedom to plant whatever we like in our garden. God loves us regardless of the good or bad choices we may make in our lives. You may be reaping the fruit of some poor choices right now. And God is still saying, “I love you.” But He has wise advice for us; He desires we have a good life. He says, “Guard you heart with all diligence.” This Hebrew word translated ‘diligence’ conveys the meanings of: prison and guard (ibid). A superintendant of a prison is very particular as to what goes in and out of his prison. A prison has very tight security. Just as a superintendant watches over his prison, so we should also supervise our heart (our lives). We should exercise meticulous security with regards to what enters into our heart. Actually, even what comes out of it, as the Scripture says, “ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” – James 1:19, as “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” –Matthew 12:34b.
If what goes into, and what comes out of, our heart determines the success of our lives, what is the first important principle to establish in our heart? “In righteousness you shall be established;” – Isaiah 54:14
Righteousness is the key foundational truth we need to first establish in our heart. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” –Matthew 6:33. Notice Jesus said, “His righteousness”, not our own righteousness. We have to seek and understand God’s righteousness. Isaiah 54:14 says, “Their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.” God’s righteousness comes from God, not from within us. Humans cannot make themselves God’s righteousness, as all humans have sinned and are therefore inferior to God. God’s righteousness is a gift from God: “ For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21
Righteousness, or right standing with God, has been attained for us through the exchange Jesus made on our behalf. Jesus took our sin and gave us His righteousness. God’s righteousness is imparted to us when we are made a new creature in Christ – 2 Corinthians 5:17. This righteousness is a gift from God and undeserved by us: “For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.”- Romans 5:17
Through our faith in Jesus’ blood, shed to remit our sins – Romans 3:25, God imparts righteousness to us by His grace. We actually become a new righteous creation, fully identifying in Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection and ascension. This is the foundational miracle we need to understand and have established in our heart. All the other miraculous promises of God come the same way, by God’s grace through faith. Righteousness must be established in our heart for us to truly have faith to receive our rich inheritance in Christ. Jesus has been made unto us righteousness (1 Corinthians 1:30). We are now “For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us”. – 2 Corinthians 1:20
Establishing our minds in righteousness
God expects that, when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we will be radically changed. In Romans 12:2 He tells us, And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,
This transformation is to be a metamorphosis, of a magnitude at least comparable to that by which a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. He expects us to become totally different.
Scripture uses many different images to express the change that should occur: We become “a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.“ – 2 Cor 5:17. It is almost as if we become a new species. Scripture speaks of the “first Adam” who was earthly and fell into sin, and the “second Adam” (Jesus Christ) who was sinless and holy – Rom. 5:12-19; 1 Cor 15:44-49.
We are “made new in the attitude of our minds” – Eph. 4:23.
We “put off our old self” and “put on the new self” – Eph. 4:22,24; Col 3:9-10.
We “live by the Spirit” and not by the flesh – Gal. 5:16; Rom 8:13.
We become “instruments of righteousness” rather than “instruments of wickedness” – Rom. 6:13.
Each of these metaphors, in a different way, emphasizes the magnitude of the change that is expected. Each is dramatic and astonishing in itself; their cumulative effect is even more powerful. We are talking about a tremendous transformation. It should be visible to others, but its internal effect should be far greater than what others can perceive.
The goal of this transformation
What is the goal of this metamorphosis? Scripture states it in a number of different ways, which overlap and can be seen as different ways of expressing the same basic concept. Scripture often does this, because our minds are inadequate to comprehend, and our language inadequate to express, the full scope of God’s revelation to us.
To be continued!
Stay blessed!
For further inquiries please contact us on Tel Nos. 0243588467 or 0268130615
Email: saltnlightministries@gmail.com
Website: saltandlightministriesgh.org
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