I am sexually attracted to children

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.

The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.

My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.

I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.

In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.

Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.

Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?

Dabo, Tamale.

Dear Dabo,

I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.

You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.

I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.

You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.

I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.

My wife wants what I can’t afford

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My wife told me to buy her a brand new car as a birthday present. I have been saving towards this.

My intention was to get her a Nissan second hand car. Three days to her birthday, she told me she wanted a Range Rover because that is what her friends have been using.

I cannot afford this and even if I can do it, I may have to save additional money. She would not understand this.

She now calls me ‘irresponsible’ and all sort of names. I am so embarrassed by this behaviour.

Kwesi, Racecourse

Dear Kwesi,

Your wife isn’t treating you fairly if this is the story. If on the other hand she has a reason to believe you misuse your money, then she may have a point.

For me, your wife shouldn’t use what her friends are doing as a marker for you. After all you were willing to buy her a car of your choice but she rejected.

We are not in normal times so advise your wife to appreciate everything you do for her.

Advise her to stay away from those friends I believe may be influencing her.

Anyway, why don’t you sit down and talk amicably about this? If it’s Range Rover she wants, tell her she will get it but not now.

I think it makes sense for her to wait, unless she doesn’t want her preferred car.

She’s too friendly with boys

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 25 and she is 22. We have been lovers for some time now and have agreed to get married if God permits.

We are so much in love to an extent that, we cannot go a day without calling each other or seeing each other.

My problem is that she is too friendly with boys. I have warned her several times but all have fallen on deaf ears. She told me not to think about that because they are her friends and she just entertains them for fun.

I love her and I’m afraid someone may take her out of my hands.

Is it nice for a girl (who already has a lover) to be so friendly with other boys? I am totally confused and don’t know what to do.

Barimah, Swedru.

Dear Barima,

YOU seem to have a problem with insecurity. You stated that she always shows how much she cares about you.

I believe you could complain if that is affecting the attention you crave for.

Is she just friendly or she is actually intimate and makes suggestive body contacts with these male friends?

If your answer is no, then I think you should relax and enjoy your relationship with this girl.

You can also let her know that you can’t stand it when you see her with the male friends and for that matter she should stop.

Trying to stifle her may rather kill the relationship.