The banker deceived me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.

We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.

It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.

The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.

He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.

I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.

My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.

Prisca, Dodowa.

Dear Prisca,

Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.

It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.

And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?

Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.

They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.

My wife wants what I can’t afford

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My wife told me to buy her a brand new car as a birthday present. I have been saving towards this.

My intention was to get her a Nissan second hand car. Three days to her birthday, she told me she wanted a Range Rover because that is what her friends have been using.

I cannot afford this and even if I can do it, I may have to save additional money. She would not understand this.

She now calls me ‘irresponsible’ and all sort of names. I am so embarrassed by this behaviour.

Kwesi, Racecourse

Dear Kwesi,

Your wife isn’t treating you fairly if this is the story. If on the other hand she has a reason to believe you misuse your money, then she may have a point.

For me, your wife shouldn’t use what her friends are doing as a marker for you. After all you were willing to buy her a car of your choice but she rejected.

We are not in normal times so advise your wife to appreciate everything you do for her.

Advise her to stay away from those friends I believe may be influencing her.

Anyway, why don’t you sit down and talk amicably about this? If it’s Range Rover she wants, tell her she will get it but not now.

I think it makes sense for her to wait, unless she doesn’t want her preferred car.

She’s too friendly with boys

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 25 and she is 22. We have been lovers for some time now and have agreed to get married if God permits.

We are so much in love to an extent that, we cannot go a day without calling each other or seeing each other.

My problem is that she is too friendly with boys. I have warned her several times but all have fallen on deaf ears. She told me not to think about that because they are her friends and she just entertains them for fun.

I love her and I’m afraid someone may take her out of my hands.

Is it nice for a girl (who already has a lover) to be so friendly with other boys? I am totally confused and don’t know what to do.

Barimah, Swedru.

Dear Barima,

YOU seem to have a problem with insecurity. You stated that she always shows how much she cares about you.

I believe you could complain if that is affecting the attention you crave for.

Is she just friendly or she is actually intimate and makes suggestive body contacts with these male friends?

If your answer is no, then I think you should relax and enjoy your relationship with this girl.

You can also let her know that you can’t stand it when you see her with the male friends and for that matter she should stop.

Trying to stifle her may rather kill the relationship.