Obaa Yaa
I am in love with a married man
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 27- year- old lady who has fallen in love with a married man. I met this man on a business trip in koforidua of the Eastern Region.
I fell for him at first sight, though I knew he was married because he had a ring on his finger.
He took my number and started calling to check up on me. He is super nice, caring, soft spoken and gentle.
I began to develop feelings for him because he had all the qualities I needed in a man. He proposed to me and I accepted it.
Even though I knew he was married, it didn’t stop me from dating him. We started dating and he has been very supportive and loving.
I am madly in love with him that I wish he wasn’t married, yet I do not also want to break his home. I am doing everything possible to help him hide this affair from his wife.
I am not happy dating a married man but I love him. Please what should I do?
Worried lady, Alajo.
Dear worried lady,
I an happy you said you didn’t want to break someone’s home in the first place. It is rather unfortunate you have fallen in love with a married man.
You are a very beautiful young lady and everyman will be willing to settle down with a young lady.
Try as much as possible to avoid his calls and stay away from him.
Stay away from his lane and be careful. Mind you, you are a woman and there is Karma.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
