Obaa Yaa
His outburst scares me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in friendship close to seven months and things have been going on smoothly to my delight.
He has very good looks, fine disposition, very accommodating and has promised that he would do all within his means to marry me.
Unfortunately, l have discovered another side of him which has frightened me to the marrow.
Recently, there was a little misunderstanding between him and a friend of his. The exchanges between the two gentlemen were serious.
Though my fiancé had been wrongly accused of the issue which triggered the misunderstanding, he has vowed never to forgive the gentleman involved.
Finally, the two intimate friends who did almost everything together are no more talking to each other. Some of their colleagues had attempted to settle the matter, but without success.
Eventually, the matter is in court and judgement is yet to be delivered.
Being the calm person that l am, and for the fact that l cannot stand quarrels of such magnitude, l have made up my mind to end the relationship since l cannot tell when a powerful ‘axe’ of this sort will land on my head to embarrass me.
l have taken my decision but l would like to listen to your opinion on this matter.
Aba, Cape Coast.
Dear Aba,
I would like to commend you for the bold initiative you have taken to decide on your future irrespective of the flamboyant gentleman of your heart.
A period for courtship is an occasion for two love birds to study each other, be satisfied and equally prepared to handle the shortcomings or challenges of your partner.
The would-be -couple must come to the realisation that they are compatible and for that matter can live together.
This is not a period to indulge in sex, because taking such a position would prevent one from taking definitive decision, if one would like to back out of the relationship.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
