Obaa Yaa
His outburst scares me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in friendship close to seven months and things have been going on smoothly to my delight.
He has very good looks, fine disposition, very accommodating and has promised that he would do all within his means to marry me.
Unfortunately, l have discovered another side of him which has frightened me to the marrow.
Recently, there was a little misunderstanding between him and a friend of his. The exchanges between the two gentlemen were serious.
Though my fiancé had been wrongly accused of the issue which triggered the misunderstanding, he has vowed never to forgive the gentleman involved.
Finally, the two intimate friends who did almost everything together are no more talking to each other. Some of their colleagues had attempted to settle the matter, but without success.
Eventually, the matter is in court and judgement is yet to be delivered.
Being the calm person that l am, and for the fact that l cannot stand quarrels of such magnitude, l have made up my mind to end the relationship since l cannot tell when a powerful ‘axe’ of this sort will land on my head to embarrass me.
l have taken my decision but l would like to listen to your opinion on this matter.
Aba, Cape Coast.
Dear Aba,
I would like to commend you for the bold initiative you have taken to decide on your future irrespective of the flamboyant gentleman of your heart.
A period for courtship is an occasion for two love birds to study each other, be satisfied and equally prepared to handle the shortcomings or challenges of your partner.
The would-be -couple must come to the realisation that they are compatible and for that matter can live together.
This is not a period to indulge in sex, because taking such a position would prevent one from taking definitive decision, if one would like to back out of the relationship.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.
