Obaa Yaa
His outburst scares me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been in friendship close to seven months and things have been going on smoothly to my delight.
He has very good looks, fine disposition, very accommodating and has promised that he would do all within his means to marry me.
Unfortunately, l have discovered another side of him which has frightened me to the marrow.
Recently, there was a little misunderstanding between him and a friend of his. The exchanges between the two gentlemen were serious.
Though my fiancé had been wrongly accused of the issue which triggered the misunderstanding, he has vowed never to forgive the gentleman involved.
Finally, the two intimate friends who did almost everything together are no more talking to each other. Some of their colleagues had attempted to settle the matter, but without success.
Eventually, the matter is in court and judgement is yet to be delivered.
Being the calm person that l am, and for the fact that l cannot stand quarrels of such magnitude, l have made up my mind to end the relationship since l cannot tell when a powerful ‘axe’ of this sort will land on my head to embarrass me.
l have taken my decision but l would like to listen to your opinion on this matter.
Aba, Cape Coast.
Dear Aba,
I would like to commend you for the bold initiative you have taken to decide on your future irrespective of the flamboyant gentleman of your heart.
A period for courtship is an occasion for two love birds to study each other, be satisfied and equally prepared to handle the shortcomings or challenges of your partner.
The would-be -couple must come to the realisation that they are compatible and for that matter can live together.
This is not a period to indulge in sex, because taking such a position would prevent one from taking definitive decision, if one would like to back out of the relationship.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.
I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.
Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.
Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.
—Esinam, Legon
Dear Esinam,
When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.
Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?
You might also reflect on:
- Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
- Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
- Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
- Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?
Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.
Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.
It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.
The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.
This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.
This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.
Chelsea, Accra.
Dear Chelsea,
Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.
Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.
Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.
Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.
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